markxmind's profile picture. Comedy writer/performer

Mark Hurtado

@markxmind

Comedy writer/performer

Nightmare Before Christmas? That movie from all the bartender tattoos?


Fun facts however, do care about your feelings.


Golden Corral has a weirdly conservative clientele for how socialist their restaurant is.


Damn, gas prices entering beef jerky territory.


Y'all dudes flipping tires in the gym are doing it wrong THEY ROLL.


Damn 50 Cent looking like a whole dollar. #SuperBowl


"If you don't have haters you're doing it wrong". Y'all that phrase only applies to careers with media attention. If you work at like a Nissan dealership or something you might just suck.


Mark Hurtado reposted

David Dastmalchian adopted a stray cat who approached him during the filming of The Suicide Squad in Panama, and costume designer Judiana Makovsky sewed a little Polka Dot Man outfit for the cat, named Bubblegum.

gynoidprincess's tweet image. David Dastmalchian adopted a stray cat who approached him during the filming of The Suicide Squad in Panama, and costume designer Judiana Makovsky sewed a little Polka Dot Man outfit for the cat, named Bubblegum.
gynoidprincess's tweet image. David Dastmalchian adopted a stray cat who approached him during the filming of The Suicide Squad in Panama, and costume designer Judiana Makovsky sewed a little Polka Dot Man outfit for the cat, named Bubblegum.
gynoidprincess's tweet image. David Dastmalchian adopted a stray cat who approached him during the filming of The Suicide Squad in Panama, and costume designer Judiana Makovsky sewed a little Polka Dot Man outfit for the cat, named Bubblegum.
gynoidprincess's tweet image. David Dastmalchian adopted a stray cat who approached him during the filming of The Suicide Squad in Panama, and costume designer Judiana Makovsky sewed a little Polka Dot Man outfit for the cat, named Bubblegum.

I stand with Simone Biles. I was asked to do a cartwheel once and was like nahhh. #Simone #SimoneBiles


Ok if we're getting an MKU then we have a PERFECT Bo Rai Cho waiting for us (Sammo Hung) #MortalKombat #MortalKombatMovie

markxmind's tweet image. Ok if we're getting an MKU then we have a PERFECT Bo Rai Cho waiting for us (Sammo Hung) #MortalKombat #MortalKombatMovie

Tell your kids they can't read the racist Dr. Seuss books till they finish the clean ones.


Get a free Vote Emote and Avatar and help the Brawlhalla community be heard November 3rd: brawlhalla.com/vote


Wow, WAP might be the dirtiest song I've heard about Wireless Access Points. #WAPMusicVideo


The earthquake might be a 4.2 but I thought it had a lot of heart and is worth the watch. #earthquake


*ER door kicks open EMT: "We gotta guy who took over 20 grams of mushrooms". Doctor: "My god. Nurse! Get this man a playlist"


I'd love a cover of Marilyn Manson's Sweet Dreams but like a fun 80's British pop version.


Yes 2020, I'd like an "End to the Global Pandemic" please. Oh, you're out of that? Ok then I'll guess we'll go with... *Checks menu Race War?


White Murder Hornets are called "Patriot Wasps".


Well I'm friends with some Karens and they don't mind when I use that word.


Mask game the new shoe game like "Yooo you got them n95's"!


Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.