mediumgreen's profile picture. i got into twitter b/c i thought it would be a nature site about birds

mediumgreen

@mediumgreen

i got into twitter b/c i thought it would be a nature site about birds

absolutely wild to me that the mogwai digestive system understands and adheres to time zones.


some of you who blared Rage Against the Machine in your high school parking lots never listened to the lyrics and it shows.


there are people alive today who proudly identify as flat-earthers. i don’t think defunding any education department is the right move.


mcrib theory: @McDonalds buys the mcrib machine from the same company that makes their ice cream machine. that’s why it’s only available sometimes.


it’s that time of year where everyone forgets that they hated @joerogan but loved @Neilyoung and posts how many @taylorswift13 songs are in their most listened to songs from @Spotify to their stories. ahh, the holidays.


in hollywood news, @GalGadot is so pretty, it takes 4 hours to make her look like a witch. can’t they just give ugly people acting roles and save themselves the time and effort?

mediumgreen's tweet image. in hollywood news, @GalGadot is so pretty, it takes 4 hours to make her look like a witch. can’t they just give ugly people acting roles and save themselves the time and effort?

it’s like we’ve all been collectively laughing about russia for decades saying they’re strong as bears and impervious to vodka and putin thought we were serious so he took topless pix on horseback and decided he could take over the world. bro, chill. we were laughing AT you.


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Whoever thought of putting the microchips in the horse paste is a *genius*


we saw Shang-Chi and the legend of the 10 rings yesterday. today, we’re watching Ironman and… #ironman #shangchi #TenRings #marvel @Marvel @MarvelStudios @Disney @disneyplus


so this one time, we, as humans, bought enough CDs for this one guy to go to space.


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While Dementia Don babbles on stage in front of a “crowd” of crazies in Marry Yer Cousin Ohio, I’m reminded of this: Remember that time Joe Biden told him to “shut up” on national television? Then he took his job. His house. And his Twitter account. Yeah, that was awesome.


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Quiet on here


thank you for saying that. i was worried this was someone’s genuine thought.

What is sad about this post is that it’s hard to tell it’s sarcastic because of the cultish behavior of Trump supporters.



the word is “concede,” @realDonaldTrump. not “conceit.” you’re just confused. time to course correct.


either the lion king’s scar was born with that mark over his eye or his parents knew he’d sustain an eye injury so life altering it would define who he is for life. those are the only explanations for his name.


i had a moment today when i was actually happy with my accomplishments. then i remembered that nickelback has made 9 albums.


seeing Thor: Ragnarok and they play a commercial for Thor:Ragnarok before the previews and every dad in the theater says, “oh, that looks good. we should see that.” #thor #ragnarok dadjokes


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"I’m just a humble lightweight, semi-automatic rifle; I never expected this kind of outpouring of affection." trib.al/5H7FbWK

TheOnion's tweet image. "I’m just a humble lightweight, semi-automatic rifle; I never expected this kind of outpouring of affection." trib.al/5H7FbWK

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