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Sometime your the bug and sometime your the windshield#lifelessons
FYI: Researchers in China say that Sprite is the best cure for a hangover. Or you can do what I do and just never let yourself be sober.
There's no cool way to chase a bouncing ping pong ball.
I can't date you if you're boring, I like to have fun
Only wrestling I do is with your momma-Phil
"Where I come from, you don't mess with another man's woman or his hat." #duckdynasty
Air nailers and thumbs don't go together to well... Real Painful today
My favourite thing to do in life is crossbow hunt and tonight I said goodbye to my bow #whathaveidone
Based on the amount of tequila last night, the fact that I am not hungover must be a birthday present from Jesus Christ himself
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