Captain David MisCabbage
@miscabbaged
All Satire: #Scientology "Super Powers" are real, I've been using them for years to hide my wife Shelly. Follow me for more relationship tips.
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The northern lights were absolutely phenomenal last night & you can thank Scientology for that
He couldn’t keep a wife more than a few years and now can’t keep a girlfriend more than a few weeks. Poor Tom, he just keeps burning through them. foxnews.com/entertainment/…
Says the woman that literally had to return the furniture and silverware that she stole from The White House on the way out. Hey Crooked, you may want to sit this one out!
Trump has just shown the world that Hamas is easier to negotiate with than the democrats Let that sink in. 👀
We actually don't recommend using any of our products while pregnant. Thank you for taking the time to voice your concerns today.
You can be hero if you go get a dog from the animal shelter…. But try getting a girlfriend from the women’s shelter….not good.
My uncle used to say there is an ass for every seat. He was a car dealer but still… 🫣
The tabs are losing it now that #Scientology icon Tom Cruise was spotted holding hands with actress Ana de Armas in Vermont. What is she in for? We figured the best way to answer that is go over Cruise’s previous relationships, and with help from Nicole Kidman's former auditor!
Hey, @grok, who was the most famous person to visit my profile? It doesn't need to be a mutual, don't tag them, just say who it was.
🎡 *Step right up, folks, to the greatest show on Earth—Slyntology!* 🎪 I’m David Miscabbage, your guide to spiritual freedom! Join our Church and soar to *Clear*, unlocking your infinite potential with L. Ron Hubbard’s tech! 🌟 Our *Bridge to Total Freedom* offers mind-blowing…
For over 14 years, people have speculated about why my father @isaachayes left South Park. I’m here to set the record straight. My dad did not quit South Park. Scientology did. After the episode “Trapped in the Closet” aired in 2005, my father suffered a stroke just a few…
There is nothing in Vegas worth seeing again. Been there done that. Same for Nola & LA. Far too many places in the great nation that I’ve not visited yet, no reason to pay to see the same stuff twice.
**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Scientology Sets Sail with Bold Rebrand!** CLEARWATER, FL – In a shocking nautical pivot, the Church of Scientology has announced that its iconic Freewinds cruise ship, long a floating beacon of spiritual enlightenment, will be rechristened the *Harvey…
OMG 👀
BILL CLINTON & THE AF-1 FLIGHT ATTENDANT This one truly IS “Dereliction of Duty.” We were returning late one night from a long trip to Europe on AF-1, landed at Andrews, and helicoptered on Marine One to the White House. We landed on the South Lawn at about midnight and, after…
Checked in over on Facebook earlier today & my entire feed was filled with people posting their test scores on how much a Narcissist/Empath they are.
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