Mary Jones
@mlidge
trust issues with dairy
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I Just Sneezed and Bit My Own Tongue, But I Promise I am a Responsible Adult: The Mary Jones Story
Your goal as a ship operator should be to never have your Wikipedia link turn blue.
an impostor shall come to you he shall speak pleasing words and promise you the world but in his name you shall know him a fraud
“Difficulties strengthen the mind as labour does the body.” Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher (4BC-66AD.)
it's 2019 and it's time to cut negativity out of your life. it's time to cut people who hate pacific rim out of your life. if they can't acknowledge how absolutely fucking baller this movie is then god only knows what else they're wrong about
cron jobs make the world go round what if the sunrise and sunset are actually just a crufty cron job God wrote once and forgot about and daylight savings is just a hack to work around it
my mom: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner doctors: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner my friends: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner the news: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner me: okay so what im hearing is dunch (dinner lunch) & then a second, darker dinner
Software development process 0. I can't fix this 1. Crisis of confidence 2. Questions career 3. Questions life 4. Oh it was a typo, cool
Whenever furniture delivery guys come to, like, assemble something, I suddenly forget HOw tO bE a PErsOn iN mY ApArtment. What do I usually do in here? Currently standing and rapidly thumbing through a random book. Might cook a single egg next?
The ideal pair programming setup is two people who secretly hate each other trying to poke holes in the other's ideas
do not crank that soulja boy gentle into that good night; crank, crank against the dying of the light
| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄| TNG HAD THE MOST POSITIVE IMPACT BUT DS9 WAS THE BEST SERIES |___________| (\__/) || (•ㅅ•) || / づ
Mother: can you please fix my computer Me: *leans back in chair* well... well ... well ... if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006
so they just have a fuckload of spiders
The Hero’s Journey 1. The call to adventure 2. Refusing the call 3. Village burned down by orcs 4. Make out with an elf 5. Get drunk with gnomes 6. Eat suspicious mushrooms that might be magic 7. Make out with a wizard 8. Obtain the hookshot 9. Beat the water temple 10. Bearwar
my friend has a phobia of snakes but is totally okay with dragons so i had to figure out where exactly on the scale the problem begins
Two of the engineers on your team are fighting about white space on a PR for a feature that was late a month ago. Get them both in a room to sort it out face to face. Roll 2d6 on the Conflict Resolution Table, if you roll doubles they both quit.
me after the smallest inconvenience
thinking about camomile tea: oh yeah i love it, the calming drink actually drinking camomile tea: the hot hay water has not relaxed me
A friend's russian mom is staying with us Her: so you're programming Me (trying to sound humble): yes displaying ads on the internet Her: oh that sounds complicated. I used to program space rockets in Fortran in the 70s Me (quietly sobbing): ...
United States Trends
- 1. CJ Stroud N/A
- 2. Texans N/A
- 3. Drake Maye N/A
- 4. Don Lemon N/A
- 5. Pats N/A
- 6. Rams N/A
- 7. Davis Mills N/A
- 8. Boutte N/A
- 9. #HOUvsNE N/A
- 10. Anderson N/A
- 11. Campbell N/A
- 12. Senegal N/A
- 13. Jim Cornelison N/A
- 14. Diggs N/A
- 15. Super Bowl N/A
- 16. DeMeco Ryans N/A
- 17. #DaBears N/A
- 18. #AFCON2025 N/A
- 19. Rome Odunze N/A
- 20. #NFLPlayoffs N/A
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