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Michael Panczenko

@mpanc1

Michael Panczenko reposted

From now on I’m referring to the bathroom as the stall at the house of flusher.


Michael Panczenko reposted

On April 24, Tucker Carlson was asked to remove himself from his place of work. That request came from his network. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Don Lemon.


Michael Panczenko reposted

inside you are two wolves. this is below the minimum viable population threshold, so they soon die out. the deer population inside you explodes, quickly stripping you of your internal vegetation. erosion increases, streams and rivers silt up, and insect numbers collapse due to ha


Michael Panczenko reposted

Sorry Blues Traveler there is no harmonica song that requires all this.

ronnui_'s tweet image. Sorry Blues Traveler there is no harmonica song that requires all this.

Michael Panczenko reposted

I'm the guy who named all the batteries (A, AA, AAA, AAAA) so I thought I'd offer a chemical engineering breakdown of how they got these names: 1.) I am afraid of electricity


Michael Panczenko reposted

No doubt the NFL is considering postponing the rest of this game - but how? This late in the season, a game of this magnitude is crucial to the regular-season outcome ... which suddenly seems so irrelevant.


Michael Panczenko reposted

Don't be fooled 9 out of 10 problems WILL go away if you ignore them long enough Once I lay in bed while my alarm clock was ringing because I didn't want to get up to turn it off It took 4 hours, but eventually the battery died Believe in yourself


Michael Panczenko reposted

Well, well, well. Look who’s come crawling back. If it isn’t my one year old son I accidentally left at the park


Michael Panczenko reposted

Michael Panczenko reposted

i hate when guys make up totally fantastical scenarios when talking about buying watches or suits. "what if you have to see the chairman of the board?" "what if you have to entertain VIP clients?" sir, we are both standing in line at this taco bell inside of a target


Michael Panczenko reposted

thinking about the time David Blaine put a needle through my hand and i thought it was a magic trick but he actually just shoved a needle through my hand.


Michael Panczenko reposted

I regret to inform you that The Scientist is still a perfect song. Yeah, I know. Coldplay. I take no pleasure in reporting this.


Michael Panczenko reposted

Thinking about the erotic thriller film where a young man gives Jennifer Lopez a priceless "first edition" copy of The Iliad


Michael Panczenko reposted

BOMBSHELL: This leaked audio of Steve Bannon is Wild. It should be prominent on every major news network. It is incredibly damning for the Trump - Bannon cabal. Sound up. 🔈 (HT: @dfriedman33 & @MotherJones)


Michael Panczenko reposted

FFS. Are you people masturbating only 5 feet apart or something?

TRyanGregory's tweet image. FFS. Are you people masturbating only 5 feet apart or something?
TRyanGregory's tweet image. FFS. Are you people masturbating only 5 feet apart or something?
TRyanGregory's tweet image. FFS. Are you people masturbating only 5 feet apart or something?

Michael Panczenko reposted

wow this is the last thing i expected from Snoop Dogg. he has lost a fan.

🚨 Footage has emerged of Snoop Dogg smoking a 'joint' before going on to perform at the Super Bowl LVI half-time show. Watch it below:

ladbible's tweet image. 🚨 Footage has emerged of Snoop Dogg smoking a 'joint' before going on to perform at the Super Bowl LVI half-time show. 

Watch it below:


Michael Panczenko reposted

Man In Shower Sets Wet Band-Aid On Tub Edge To Throw Out In Few Months bit.ly/3oUuMx3

TheOnion's tweet image. Man In Shower Sets Wet Band-Aid On Tub Edge To Throw Out In Few Months bit.ly/3oUuMx3

Michael Panczenko reposted

This brewery reclaimed chairs from a Buffalo Wild Wings 🤣🤣

adefran's tweet image. This brewery reclaimed chairs from a Buffalo Wild Wings 🤣🤣

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