nate_postlethwt's profile picture. Writer. My thoughts on healing. Survivors POV.
YouTube: Nate_Postlethwait
POD: A Little Less Lonely
Resources here: http://linktr.ee/natepost

Nate Postlethwait

@nate_postlethwt

Writer. My thoughts on healing. Survivors POV. YouTube: Nate_Postlethwait POD: A Little Less Lonely Resources here: http://linktr.ee/natepost

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Never underestimate a cycle breaker. Not only did they face years of generational trauma, but they stood in the face of that trauma and said “This ends with me.” This is brave. This is powerful. This comes at a significant cost. Never underestimate a cycle breaker.


Enabler: "You should be over that by now." Therapist, healthy observer, safe friend, decent human: "That never should have happened to you."


Confronting family dysfunction is a protest. Questioning harmful beliefs you've been taught is a protest. Walking away from abusive relationships is a protest. Breaking the cycle is a protest. Be cautious of anyone trying to silence the importance of your protest.


Don’t forgive or forget if there’s potential they’ll do it again. Don’t believe bullshit about how you’re remaining angry by not forgiving, when the idiots who say that are helping the people who hurt you.


I wish we talked more about how much community you lose when you choose to evolve. Asking questions, self-reflection, and pursuing change make comfortable people uncomfortable.


Having a family member protect a person who has abused you is called betrayal. Having the person who abused you be a family member is called “No thanks, I’ll find new people and rebuild from there.”


“Family is everything.” For many, family is what hurt them most. For many, family is what causes people to rebuild life alone. For many, family is what keeps people stuck, until they find a new way-a life without the cycle of being passed down old pain.


It is normal to be a person who craves control of their environment, when you grow up never knowing what was going to happen when you got home.


I wish people would stop congratulating survivors on being strong & realize it's not strength-it's hypervigilance. It's laser focus because they're trying to survive & they know what's stacked against them. It's independence because they know no one is going to catch their fall.


Sending peace and compassion to those who tried to restore relationships with people that hurt them, but in the end were left alone to heal. May you feel connected to those who know that pain and recognize how hard you tried.


I recently had a 71 year-old share trauma she experienced decades ago. She’d never told. She’s known to be a bit rough around the edges, yet, when you know her truth, you see she’s anything but. She’s carried those untold stories alone. We all have much to learn from one another.


Listening to a survivor is the bare minimum. Believing a survivor is the bare minimum. Seeing the innocence in a survivor whose life was changed without their permission is the…bare…minimum.


Kids who grow up constantly being criticized, become adults who aim for perfection. They plan what to say before they speak. They give more than they have. They never ask for help, because they fear being exposed to the kind of criticism they got as a child.


Abuse survivors are heavily triggered by dishonest people. When you’ve sacrificed your time and security in order to figure out the truth, people who lack truth will feel like they’re pulling you back to your darkest days.


While you’re pursuing growth and healing by doing shadow work, inner child work, parts work—please do not forget anti-racism work.


Much of the healing process is learning to navigate a world that blames people for being hurt by circumstances out of their control.


You will know when someone is genuinely sorry for damage they’ve done to you, when their apology is not tied to reconciliation, but a genuine desire for whatever outcome is best.


What do you mean they should be over that by now, when no one has helped them? When it lived in their body for years before someone told them it was trauma. When they tried to talk about it, & the people involved blamed them for speaking up. Which part should they be over by now?


If you are a parent who allowed one child to abuse your other children without your intervention, you do not believe family is everything.


Empathetic people are labeled weak, when their empathy shines a light on those abusers want to hurt.


While a trauma survivor isn’t always shocked by what was done to them, they’re often shocked that people don’t apolgize. They’re shocked at the number of people who defend the person who hurt them. They’re shocked by how much additional trauma comes from being traumatized.


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