Office Printer 9000
@officeprinter
Check Status : PC Load Letter Error
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here i sit, broken hearted. tried to print but only hey, why won't dick cheney stop talking?
ring ring! ring ring! *hello?* hi, it's me. *who is this?* you have huge crack showing. *WHAT?* ok, talk again soon. -- a friend
let me get this straight. you think sending confidential documents to a public office printer is secure. hmm. i'm going to need a raise.
why do you need 113 bound, collated copies of this super crapalicious powerpoint? your prime numbers cannot defeat me! form blazing sword!!1
i promise you, i made update number 69 last as long as i could. aww yeeeaaah.
hey, you know the funniest part about making 1000 photocopies of your butt cheeks? nobody cleaned the glass since the last person did it.
P is for printer, what you get is what you see. T is for tabloid, you put it in tray three. And K is for KOMPRESSOR, KOMPRESSOR IS FOR ME!
so your companies want that swine flu to be called something less damaging to their pig parts business. may i suggest: ROOT-IN-POOP FEVER.
project fingerburn update: mission accomplished! faked paper jam bonus damage: 30 points. swearing in front of clients: you owe me pie.
waiting for nubcakes to print something massive enough to heat me up into a burned finger dynamo!!1! NAO I AM READY FOR YOUR SURPRISE!!
the tray is still open. tray 1. no, that's tray 3. do you see the big number 3 on that? 3 is different than 1. aaaand now tray 3 is open.
friday haiku: where did the week go? monday, tuesday, cha cha cha. you killed trees on earth day, man!
i enjoyed watching you solve the mystery of the unplugged printer. "i dunno. the switch is on, but it's like still off!" 1 hour later...
i saw you take those supplies, employee! u can't claim them for tax breaks! i punish you to 1 broken heel, 3 oh craps, and 1 desktop facial.
i never knew what frosting was until you printed your recipe, and i wish i never knew. i guess i should wish stomachs everywhere good luck!
no, update button! update once, not 5,000 times! officefax, if you are haxxing my interwebs... i swear to crap i will ship you to delaware.
friday haiku: what powerpoint deck? who said you sent it to me? well, i guess you're screwed.
megalo thank yous to teh awesum person for the toner recycling bin. i finally has a place for my... issue. BIN! your new name is judy. wink!
IN UR FACE, REPAIRMAN! interweb connections restored, despite your mucking about in me gulliver! u watch ur ass nao! i has lazerbeemz.
yesterday... all your paper seemed to flyyy awaaay. i emptied out the tabloid tray... OH, i died laugh-ing yes-ter-daaaay!
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