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Patrick Winston

@oracleWinston

Woman is closer to snake than it is to man #bitchesAintShit


Will you have sex with me for a million bucks #prettyPlease


If you want to kill someone, first eat Twinkies #HowToGetAwayWithMurder


3 stars in the army and navy are impressively intelligent and socially refined 3 stars in the Air Force are impressive intelligent and jerks


All those people with blonde hair are slugs and if you turn your back on them they'll shoot you #brunettes


When Michelle Obama kills her husband, it won't be an assassination #jfkConspiracy


I've landed a plane on an aircraft carrier #boatsN'Hoes


I don't know if I'm licensed to tell Irish jokes #potatoes


St. Petersburg is a place where gifts are expected and bribery is accepted #MotherRussia


If you're a journalist you barely understand anything you read #timeIsMoney


Children are very much like rats #psychology


It might've been a prostitute #jamming


Stephen Larson is painfully handsome


Chew it up and spit it in their mouth #howtosavealife


Are blind people intelligent #knowledge


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