Devon Petersen
@petersen_devon
‼️FUCK SEAWORLD‼️
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Me and my therapist both agreed i don’t need a job I need a blow Job
WAKE THE HELL UP WE HAVE FOOTBALL IN LESS THAN 12 HOURS BEAT THE ILLINI FUCK THE REST AND GO BIG RED
Taking applications for a new friend with a speech impediment because @chrisrfoster12 is dead to me as of 9 AM
My dogs look me dead in the eye at 5:30 am and sigh like they’re the ones getting auto-payment texts from midamerican
Huge thank you to this cop for getting the perfect camera angle on this
Steve Jobs' email to himself 13 months before he died Couldn't sleep after I read it via @TrungTPhan
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it most rarely use it
Them are the ones Wallen was warning us about
You can question the bear, but its gonna shit in the woods
Every girl at shotgun Betty’s scream singing “before he cheats” has had their heart broken at least once.
Extra thankful for bowl games during the work day 🙏🏼
It’s called gross pay because it’s disgusting to see what you could’ve made
The gap between your current life and the life you want is called gambling.
If you want it done right, you’re gonna have to do it yourself
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