Ike
@petulanceparty
they/them.
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Love to start my day being literally pissed on (by my toddler) and having to pretend everything is fine/I don’t feel like crying!!!
K wait but, how do ppl WITHOUT joint hypermobility cut their toenails?
Love when my fussy infant is about to fall asleep and then some idiot sets off their own car alarm
Lol that both my baby son and I are experiencing postpartum hair loss
Literally years since my family doc recommended I do this… hm.
The ADHD screening test should just be "try to schedule an appointment for your ADHD screening."
Oh… I haven’t read my emails since my child was born… 10 weeks ago. Cool.
Has anyone calculated the emissions of the #CNEairshow yet? Because it’s 2022, and I’m done with extravagant displays of… well anything. Let’s do away with the extraneous, eh? #ClimateCrisis
Are you a night owl or are you so overwhelmed by people you can't calm down until they're all in bed?
the soft spot on a baby’s head is for the bubble tea straw
I’m not sure exactly why I still appreciate twitter, but I sure do have a compulsion to blurt out useless thoughts no one asked me to share
You know when you spend HOURS having a MEETING to sort out the DETAILS and then LATER when you’re TRYING to do SOMETHING ELSE they want to TALK about it? Yeah, that.
New theory: we covet the dadbod because it reminds us of our species ability to procreate (they all look pregnant)
United States Trends
- 1. Lakers N/A
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- 4. #TheTraitorsUS N/A
- 5. Kawhi N/A
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- 7. Vando N/A
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- 9. #TNAiMPACT N/A
- 10. #criticalrolespoilers N/A
- 11. John Collins N/A
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- 13. Draymond N/A
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- 17. Marcus Smart N/A
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- 19. Aaliyah Chavez N/A
- 20. Autopilot N/A
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