Teller Of Tattered Tales

I remember when educated men and women actually believed that taking a woman's pant to some mud shrine in the bush would bring untold fortune. And women started drying their wet panties under lock and key, under the pillows on which they slept. I remember arguing with so many…

The shock you get when you realize that people are not kind but opportunistic. They are kind because they expect kindness in return either from man or from god. Kindness here is just a pay order slip of some kind. An I-O-U. Anytime someone is kind to me l am genuinely scared…

Sometimes you put out your hand into the world in search of love, in search of something soft and kind and all you get is pain. Meaningless pain. The kind that dishevels the soul, leaving an indelible mark that changes the shape of your expectation, that makes you think that…

You are in a gathering of men and suddenly it hits you, you could replace each person here with a braying donkey and the conversation will still be the same. All they talk about is money. That's what everyone is talking about. And each person gets their turn and they all sound…

Nothing is funnier than the perfunctory attempt people make on social media to look busy. To look profitable. You are posting a random business that you have no affiliation with just so that people will say "she don dey do something". Posting Zelle up and down when you don't even…

You take your hard earned cash, put it into some digital currency and after a couple of months you have nothing but a fist full of feathers. You have been swooned and swindled by faceless thieves, by fungible financial assets that you have purchased at the cost of an arm and a…

If you are into the speculative market(gambling, this includes forex, crypto, betting of any kind). I urge you to desist from it. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. And many a time, a bird in hand is the only bird. There are no other birds. There are no bushes of birds.…

Your child is not walking at the age of one and you are panicking. Calm thy tits. Where do you even want the child to walk to in the first place. At the age of fucking one. Calm down. The child will walk at his appointed physiological time. Stop rushing your child to meet…

Other writers hold a pen, what I hold in my own hand is a prophecy, a wet plaster, a bucket of paint. What I hold are the pallid dry tinders for a little hearth or a forest fire. What I hold is the unlovely porcupine puncturing my breast pocket portending my inherent failure…

Fuck all these talk about calories and cholesterol. Eat whatever your body craves. If you start shitting and almost die in the toilet, that’s your stop sign. Nothing else should deter you but death or its resemblance. Sometimes I even take my plate of food to the toilet. I shit…

In the cholera outbreak of 1854, Soho, London. Everyone was getting sick apart from those who were perpetually always in the tavern and whore houses. It was later discovered that the water was contaminated and the reason why the drunks were immune was because they were only…

I have accepted that many of the dreams that I dream certainly cannot be my own. Maybe it is the smear of another’s memory very similar to the shreds of thoughts in my skull but still, it cannot belong entirely to me. My name is not written on it. It might belong to you. It…

The elastic light from a half torn moon drools over darkness and distance. Drops on fallow bushes and lovely flowers. The cloud is heavy with child. The cocks crow twice. Dew fortifies the iron skin of the morning worm. A chameleon walks on the crooked branch of a fallen tree…

How can you comfortably worship a god who sits on the fence throughout all of human tragedy? How do you rationalize his willingness to allow evil to exist alongside good? How can you pray to a god who refuses to pick up his own trash? Who refuses to be responsive to human plight?…

All wars are the same. All people who fight wars are the same. They go into battle thinking they are right. But what does been right have to do with people dying? Is blood equal to truth? It is shameful that human conflicts in the end get sorted out not by rational arguments…

Jesus was born in Bethlehem. I was born in Benin city, Edo state, Nigeria. What are my chances? What hope do I have? He had a cross made of wood, my own cross is a 2 and a half inch penis that is always erect over the slightest provocation. I lie in the labyrinth of my own…

Your desperate need to control and dominate others spirals from the lack of control you have over your own small and insignificant life. You are embittered, embarrassed by your own depleted self will, the only alternative that occurs to you is to destroy the will of others. And…

I am taken aback when I meet people and they are kind to me without any a priori knowledge of my name or nature. Usually what I expect and what I get is harsh and hard hostility. Probably based on my physiognomy. People hate me right off the bat. Right from the get-go something…

The roguishness that appears in the Nigerian political sphere is a very common type of roguishness. It is familiar. It is the same roguishness that appears when they drive on the roads, when they go to parties, when they play ball in fields, when you tell them to form a single…

Money is not a proper guide for morality. If you think the reason why you are badly behaved is because you are poor, you are wrong. It most likely has to do with the fact that you are stupid. More than anything else.