"Hey, Mr. Freeman. I had a bunch of messages for you, but we had a system crash about 20 minutes ago, and I'm still tryin to find my files. Just one of those days, I guess."
scratching on the rotating pizza oven like a dj turntable and burning all my fingertips off so the cops can never lift a print if i do crime
It is with sadness that I announce the passing of my Pizzazz Pizza Oven. The Pizzazz died today at the age of 27. I am heartbroken. The Pizzazz will remain in my heart forever. Please respect my privacy at this time.
If Jesus was alive and walking the earth today he would be a Christian Zionist.
Bro get a girlfriend
Me: "My laptop is having issues" My IT guy: <shaking laptop upside down> "Are these...Long John Silvers crumbs?"
The ancient Egyptians built the pyramids with AI.
The third world isn't a place, it's people.
If we had a government that wasn’t run by fucking foreigners, that would be fantastic. Thank you.
Getting very tired of “line go up” conservatism. We want our country back.
Ben Shapiro sums up why his brand of conservatism is dying fast and why the populist left will steamroller any Republican parroting Shapiro’s views. “If you’re a young person and you can’t afford to live here then maybe you should not live here” he says to native New Yorkers.
It’s me. I’m people
Amazing work everyone
So a safety van just crashed into a wrecked racecar in the NASCAR Mexico Series championship 😭😭
Actually insane, an inspection wont even see this and then 5 years later your roof is sagging into the house.
Do y’all see this dude just casually nailing 2.5” lag bolts in here?
This fat sweaty piece of shit needs to be deported immediately
I have the distinct displeasure of serving with two antisemites in Congress. Antisemitism is anti-American.
Alright! 2,000 dollar checks to put a down payment on your 500k house that you'll pay 1.5 million for over 50 years! MAGA!
This nigga votes btw
can i get a “hell yeah” for cleaning my room finally? pleeeassseeee all of my friends know i’ve been posting about it for MONTHS
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