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I hear a lot now about people coming out as sexually fluid. Don't see the big deal. Sexual fluids have been coming out of me for years. Oh!
Anyone who sings I'm Too Sexy in karaoke will reveal all of humanity's limitations in 2 and a half minutes.
You know what? Hermaphrodites can totally go fuck themselves. #luckyducks
Just saw 12 Years a Slave. I was surprised how much I loved it. I normally hate romantic comedies.
Spent a session in therapy talking about how Kim Bassinger was not actaully in Boxing Helena. I am now sane.
I referred to my penis and Roger Rabbit in a tweet and @ilovemypets started following me. God I hope "rabbit" was the keyword for that.
#describeyourpeniswithamovietitle Who Framed Roger Rabbit... Now you have your answer. It was my penis. My penis framed Roger Rabbit.
#describeyourpeniswithamovietitle While You Were Sleeping... Well, no, that's not it. This is hard.
#describeyourpeniswithamovietitle Three Men and a Baby... wait... That can't be right.
Fake memories implanted by Rekall or real memories erased by Lacuna? Discuss.
Da person I look up to foremostly is tony Montana from the godfather.
@Honkymofro You don't follow me, so Twitter will not let me reply to your direct messages. Once again, Twitter blames the victim.
It'd be cool if in any movie Harold Ramis directed, the credit "A Harold Ramis Film" were replaced by "Hells Yeah, Egon Mad This Shit".
@Honkymofro Hey man, sorry I didn't message you back. My phone kind of crapped out on me today.
I'm at that beard stage where I look terrible, but I don't want to shave a be seen as a quitter. I admire ZZTop more and more every day.
If you don't watch "Party Down" on Netflix streaming, then you don't watch LIFE. And I'm sad for you. #justeffingwatchPartyDownyoujerk
When you suck at everything, you reach a certain perfection. But if you've reached a certain perfection, can you truly suck at everything?
I have a hankering for brats and sushi. But not brat sushi or sushi brats. Or Sushi Bratz.
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