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Sometimes you just NEED to eat a rotisserie chicken like a feral monster.
in the 90’s, computers would scream every time you went online. that was foreshadowing
Me watching some high fantasy shit: I would simply not be corrupted by the magical object. If it is actively harming you why don’t you just put it down. Idiot Me receiving psychic damage 23 hours a day from my phone: Ouuughhhh oouuuuwwwwaaaaaa ooaaaaghuuuuuhhhowwgahhhhh guuuuuwah
god i love me. i’m so smart and hot. really wishing me the best in life.
This is the precise moment Scorpio season started.
what you call a nervous breakdown i call oops, accidentally saw things as they are
me to cat: c’mere, lemme kiss u on the mouth. I love ya cat: No — NO — but I will put one of my Fur in every meal you eat till the day you die, and in this way we shall be Together
"If you acknowledge that creative thoughts are the engine that drive innovation, suddenly creativity becomes really important."-@TomKelley74
don't change for anyone unless they are really hot and ignoring you
MEN! Accentuate parts of your body you like e.g. good legs, to draw attention away from problem areas e.g. the things you do and say.
Tequila makes me "fighty", but it seems that bourbon makes me "internet stalky."
While we're on the subject of ridiculous things that could cause international incidents, do the Brazilians know that we call it that?
because of internet i now read kfc as kentucky fuckin christ
This isn't my first rodeo. it's my two hundred and sixth. fuckin love rodeos. season tickets, baby
... having one of those days where I really wish 'V. I. Warshawski' was on Netflix.
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