fleabag script bot
@scriptfleabag
tweeting the entire fleabag script. tweets every 20 minutes for (at least) 12 hours everyday.
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Fleabag's official Instagram page just posted this.... 👀👀👀👀
[Claire and Fleabag follow Dad inside. Claire struggles in with the garland and a bassoon case. Fleabag keeps getting hit by it.]
CLAIRE Unless you can find a way to stop this horrendous wedding from happening — [Dad opens the door.] DAD Girls, come in!
FLEABAG Do you need me to— CLAIRE I don’t need you. (beat) To do anything, thank you.
CLAIRE She’d better be quick today. I have a serious appointment later that I can’t miss. It’s very important. FLEABAG (concerned) What kind of appointment? CLAIRE A serious one. I can’t miss it, Ok?
[She rings it and they stand in the doorway. Fleabag lets out an unhealthy groan.] CLAIRE Are you going to be sick? FLEABAG (pulling herself together) No.
FLEABAG I can get the bell. CLAIRE NO, NO, I’VE GOT IT.
CLAIRE Well, at least someone’s having fun. [They reach the front door, Claire struggling to reach the doorbell.]
CLAIRE Big night last night? FLEABAG Is it obvious? [Claire’s look indicates it definitely is obvious.]
FLEABAG I can at least take the bassoon. CLAIRE I’m perfectly balanced, thank you.
[Claire struggles through the gate.] FLEABAG Do you need a hand with any of … CLAIRE No, no, no, no.
[They both reach the gate at the same time.] FLEABAG Hi. CLAIRE Hi.
[Coming from the opposite direction is Claire, carrying an enormous wedding arch garland thing, and a bassoon in a case.]
FLEABAG Oh God. (to camera) I’m not gonna be sick. (to camera) I’m not gonna be sick.
[Fleabag, looking a hungover, shagged mess, is walking up the street to Dad’s house.]
HOT MISOGYNIST I’m really good at it. FLEABAG (to camera) He won’t be. [CUT TO: Fleabag is having sex with Hot Misogynist.] FLEABAG (to camera) He’s really good at it.
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