selfhatevent's profile picture. Self Loathing Vent Account

Selfhate

@selfhatevent

Self Loathing Vent Account

I hate myself more than I can express. I have nothing to give. I use findom as a temporary means to trick myself into believing I have worth. Being a paypig is ironically the only reason I haven't bothered ending everything.


I'm an emotional leech. The same cycles keep repeating themselves. I beg for external validation through any means necessary and react with vitriol for anyone who would give it to me and treat me with kindness. I'm a sick, toxic person and I'll never escape. Findom Finsub Paypig


I know I'll never end up with a partner, there's no point in even thinking about it. I hate myself too much, and I know I'll never do anything about it. I trick myself into thinking I have purpose through findom, but being a Paypig is just a bandaid for me being an awful person.


Obviously I'm not emotionally mature or stable enough for a relationship, but I often tell myself I don't have enough time for one anyway. I think it's just an excuse. I already know I'm not attractive or desirable to anyone anyway.


I don't know what to do, I suddenly lost all motivation to do anything. Realistically I should seek professional help but I never will. I hate myself so much and I never understand what causes my mood swings. I can't stand it.


Findom hasn't ruined my life, I did. Findom is just a tool I use for self harm and abuse. I used to enjoy it, sometimes I still do. But mostly being a finsub is about me being as cruel to myself as possible, and selfishly using others to unknowingly participate in my self hatred.


I will never make any meaningful relationships with other people, I'm not capable of caring about anyone but myself. I can't be a good friend, I can't be a good partner, I can't be anything except a drain and a burden. I would be better off if I wasn't around.


Sometimes even though bdsm dynamics are about consent and trust, I want to interact with someone who will abuse me and who would never consider my feelings or well-being. It's penance and it's what I deserve because I would never truly care for another person either.


I hate myself. I'm frustrated and fed up with everything. I want to be desired by someone for the sole purpose of upsetting and disappointing them to hopefully make them as miserable as me. Im self centered, bitter, resentful, and a revolting excuse for a person.


Ive felt like I've had more control over my self loathing, something I haven't felt since highschool. I feel like I can use my hatred of myself in a way that's constructive, I like to eat. So recently I've been fasting as a form of self harm that technically equates to self care.


I hate myself. I'll never be happy in life or achieve any goals that i'd like to achieve.


There's something wrong with me. Why can't I be happy for my friends and support them. Why do I have to be selfish, and jealous, and miserable. I hate it.


I'm overwhelmed and struggling. I'm going to buckle under the pressure. I desperately need help, but i'll never seek it out. I hate myself for not caring enough to try to fix the problem, any problem.


Everything is falling apart. There's no coming back. I'm the only one with the power to fix my life but i'll never ever do anything about it. I'll never improve and there's no one to blame but me.


I hate myself more and more with each passing day. There isn't anything else. There's no getting better, there's no being happy, there's nothing else more than this. I'm getting sick of it.


I can't stand myself. I'm nothing but a miserable, whiny, ego filling waste of space. There is no reason or purpose to me existing and if there was I would neglect it. I'm a naturally toxic person and i'll always be alone because of that.


I'm asexual but I hate that about myself. Its never done anything for me but get in the way. So many men talk about nothing but sex and I have no idea how to respond or relate. So many people need sex in a relationship and i'm not capable of reciprocating. Miserable. Pathetic.


I'm bitter, resentful, and jealous of people in relationships. I guess thats somewhat common but i deal with it through toxic methods. It doesn't even make sense, i value my own personal time too much for a relationship. I'd never sacrifice it to spend time with another person.


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