shellafunny's profile picture. quotes from the best Vegan Mormon you'll ever meet

Shelby Says

@shellafunny

quotes from the best Vegan Mormon you'll ever meet

Why do I feel like those people are from the past?


Hold on. I’m going to put my burrito in the cup holder 🌯


I can tell I’m going to have a rough period by the noises my stomach is making. It’s like I can hear my uterus shedding.


Was reading a horoscope that really related to me and then I realized it was actually the description of a mental illness



Shelby Says podał dalej

"I just really want to be be rich. It's really important to me..." -@shellafunny


"So there I was, kneeling by the dildos..."


Unknown number calling Me: Shelby, answer it! Shel: I don't want to. What if it's the lady calling to see if I did my #visitingteaching?!


"It turns out money does make you happier if you spend it on things like services so maybe I'll just get a nanny." For who? "Me."


You don't want to be going through your Instagram feed and then all of the sudden see a 'gina.


Shelb: I am DTF Me: Uhhh Shelb: Dedicated To Fun...well I'm DTF too, but only my husband


For a second I just forgot @prince was dead.


"I've never rollen out of bed since I was like..16."


"You know that pine tree I park in front of at work? Well lately I've just had this urge to like...cuddle with it."


I come from a long line of plastic surgery.


That's the thing about British people...most of them look like their dogs.


I've been thinking about and I usually try to limit myself to one banana a day, but I think I'm going to have two. #rebel 🍌


It's scary that anyone could be a murderer 🔪


I am thankful everyday that I've never had a job with a uniform.


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