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If you come to find out I no longer follow you on social media it’s because I think you’re so corny I can’t even watch
i love going out to eat with men cause i grab their thighs under the table and they think im doing something freaky but whole time im using their pants as a napkin
just went to someone else’s circus and my fucking monkeys were there
confession time: i have never remotely understood how minesweeper works & just randomly click on little boxes until things go BOOM
This would be a non story if they didn't react. You gotta act like you belong!! That's how I've been getting free breakfast at the Hilton down the street for the past 2 weeks.
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we'll be home around 9 pm tonight.
Go on date Go to his place Drink his beer Don’t fuck Ask if I can crash Throw up on bed while sleeping Wake up Clog his toilet Ask if I can borrow some bus money Leave Another successful date for the champ
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