shellyeatshells's profile picture. professional aries-style hot mess. ivealsogotchedarfuckme

Shelly

@shellyeatshells

professional aries-style hot mess. ivealsogotchedarfuckme

You might like

One year later, and I chopped off five inches off my hair on a whim. Seems i still got it

I want to have the confidence of 3-year-old-mia cutting off all her hair on a whim back thanks



*picks up another book* Enter: the dark and stormy character, new lord of my mental harem


An assassin. Ass-squared seems fitting

You are now cursed with the job the main character had in the last book you read - what is that job?

2ndHandBookery's tweet image. You are now cursed with the job the main character had in the last book you read - what is that job?


It just hit me: are all pets sufferers of Stockholm syndrome?


Shelly reposted

An announcement from the August Edinburgh Festivals edfringe.com/learn/news-and…


Anyone becoming their true hobbit form with six meals a day, staying inside, and kind of forgetting theres a pandemic until you remind yourself that no, you cant go eat out for another round of elevenses?


Why does my cat find things to lean on and then look at you like a fuckboi waiting for his whisky on the rocks from the hotel bartender, and thinking you look like a fine appetiser?

shellyeatshells's tweet image. Why does my cat find things to lean on and then look at you like a fuckboi waiting for his whisky on the rocks from the hotel bartender, and thinking you look like a fine appetiser?

My mum is currently on a flemish zoom conference on how to brush long hair cats.


Ice-cream should only be eaten with a teaspoon. This can also expand to other delicate desserts, your enemies heart for example. This is to preserve the delicate sweet nature of the treat.


It’s aries season and I’m stuck inside. Who tf thought this was going to be a good idea.


Them: foot scrubber for callouses. Me, an intellectual:

shellyeatshells's tweet image. Them: foot scrubber for callouses. 
Me, an intellectual:

My cat: ~*meow*~ Me: CHECK THAT ATTITUDE YOUNG SIR


Birds are an extension of Satan x


UK citizens are losing our European citizenship because of Brexit. @StayEuropean is the campaign for an EU associate membership scheme that would give us the option to continue as EU members as individuals. stayeuropean.org


Am I a bellbird

To attract females, the world's loudest male bird, the bellbird, bellows at potential mates even when they are right next to them.



Me: I want to know your moon. You know, your internal environment- Mate: anxiety. Me: oh, what house is that?


Me and my mate woke up with the same song in our head. Our single shared brain cell is finally doing something it seems. @mara_thiefob


I’ll toss a coin at this

The Witcher as @mulaney quotes, a thread:



Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.