singularitytops's profile picture. he/him. | No, I’m not buying anything. | legal

j

@singularitytops

he/him. | No, I’m not buying anything. | legal

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.


I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.


I'm terrified of elevators, so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.


I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.


I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.


What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.


I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.


Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.


I wanted to be a doctor but I didn’t have the patients.


What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.


Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.


I used to run a bakery, but I couldn't make enough dough.


I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.


I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.


I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.


Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.


Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.


I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.


Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.


I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.


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