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Everything I've learned about the Belgian colonies is from @dadwroteaporno, which is... probably not great. #pornoparty
That night we got all the questions right for the first time ever. geekswhodrink.com/event/5e4312f3… via @geekswhodrink #solidgoldanswers #itsnotcoronavirus
This simple trick could save you money while also clearly telling everyone you're dining with that you're an asshole who squeezes $$$ out of service industry workers! Great job, @CNBC!
How am I just now hearing about this?!? @hqtrivia #HQ400k #skitfiggitous #scavengerhunt #myhandlefortoomanythings
A not-funny person: “I’m funny!” A total racist: “I give everyone shit equally!” A boring person: “Strap in ‘cuz I am OUT there!” A homophobe: “*I* have zero problems with gays, but the Bible says...” An unstable cretin: “I am a st
Is there a page or resource that has volunteer opportunities? We're going to be there next weekend and want to help. #rebuildporta
Old Fashioned gives us the fuel we need to be at LAX by 6:00 am. I think?
The inside of the bathroom stall I just used was covered in what appeared to be exploded body glitter. #welcometoLA
I ❤a lot about @scharpling's comedy, but co-opting "GET OFF MY PHONE," has been the most useful in daily life.
Are you allowed to impeach a president for gross incompetence?
Sir Patrick Stewart as: The Colorful Mystic Puppy. Is there ANY role this man can't play?! instagram.com/p/BR4bBIiAjcr/
We should definitely mow the back yard, but WHO AM I TO DENY HER THIS MUCH FUN?! instagram.com/p/BRt9E-JgAV9/
Alternative title from this cake show entry: "I Didn't Even Know I Was Pregnant!" instagram.com/p/BRAAwm6Asqa/
Things I'm Paying Attention to Today: The best comedy routine about "What's New Pussycat?" youtube.com/watch?v=QnkrL4…
Things I'm Paying Attention to Today: This casserole! It's one of the many orange things I can stomach today.readyseteat.com/recipes-King-R…
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