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Susan was a shy girl, but if you got enough nicotine in her pretty soon she was cutting the pants off motherfuckers.
“Apparently my college doesn't want us to make popcorn in their shitty microwaves” - University of Illinois
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat her dinner? Because she was stuffed. - love, dad
Just a reminder that Nestle uses AFRICAN CHILDREN to harvest their cocoa for chocolate, and even had the Supreme Court throw out a suit filed against them by children THEY STOLE to slave for them. This isn’t last decade this is last YEAR.
This is so American I can almost hear a John Mellencamp song right now …
Because business doesn’t stop just because it’s July, motherfucker.
Threw the baby like he was feeding the gators
4 weeks since we started water safety classes and my son graduated today, officially WATER SAFE! Last class he get to go in with 4 layers of clothing including two diapers, more than doubling his weight in water. Proud father 💙💙💙
“Mom, I have a cough.” “Well, let me set your goddamn chest on fire then.”
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