softdotgov's profile picture. nbd if nah

Enrique

@softdotgov

nbd if nah

People who read are wild, like how


Enrique reposted

God i love new york. Where else in the world can you get a sandwich


Girl be like "I know a place" then take you here

softdotgov's tweet image. Girl be like "I know a place" then take you here

There's a portion of my family who are all Adamn-Sandler-shaped


My date last night: Are you out to your parents? Me: ...?


Enrique reposted

my horny ass could NOT live next to stonehenge


Tina Fey wrote a whole-ass memoir and literally the only thing I remember from it is that they used to paint over the boogers stuck to the NBC walls


I'm going to genetically engineer a long olive to be sold as a hot dog substitute and that is my magic


For me that time is now

Everyone has a point in their childhood where they start digging a big hole for no reason



Just made the Sally to my Harry watch When Harry met Sally. Is this grooming?


Children's librarian (pejorative)


Enrique reposted

Big talk from someone who looks like I could knock him over with a carefully aimed potato

I have news for the embarrassment that claims to be our President — try to take our guns and you’ll learn why the Second Amendment was written in the first place.



Enrique reposted

boss baby shoulda come out w/ bouillon cubes in the shape of the baby


How am I keeping it together right now? Like, what do I know that I'm not telling me?


Bouquet of vape pens for my valentine


Watched 60 seconds of euphoria over Emma's shoulder, y'all that shit is scary every teen is frightening to me now


Enrique reposted

microsoft teams (derogatory)


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