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God i love new york. Where else in the world can you get a sandwich
Tina Fey wrote a whole-ass memoir and literally the only thing I remember from it is that they used to paint over the boogers stuck to the NBC walls
I'm going to genetically engineer a long olive to be sold as a hot dog substitute and that is my magic
For me that time is now
Everyone has a point in their childhood where they start digging a big hole for no reason
Just made the Sally to my Harry watch When Harry met Sally. Is this grooming?
Big talk from someone who looks like I could knock him over with a carefully aimed potato
I have news for the embarrassment that claims to be our President — try to take our guns and you’ll learn why the Second Amendment was written in the first place.
boss baby shoulda come out w/ bouillon cubes in the shape of the baby
How am I keeping it together right now? Like, what do I know that I'm not telling me?
Watched 60 seconds of euphoria over Emma's shoulder, y'all that shit is scary every teen is frightening to me now
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