𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔱𝔤𝔦𝔯𝔩🕯️🧸
@spiralling111
TW/𓊆ྀི NOT recov safe account but supports recov DNI under 18𓊇ྀི🪽 edtwt relapsing ☽⛧⁺‧₊˚♡ online diary ༺☆༻20♡🌙✩ I am autistic ୨♡୧ ED/SH since 2016 𐦍ೃ࿔*
That something was drugs lmao
I'm so done like I acc don't know how I'm gonna cope my mum keeps fucking up with the money I can't do this anymore. Half was meant to be mine. It's been years I'm ducking tired I'm gonna do something to myself
I wonder if im trying in life but it’s all pointless because the end result is i fail and this illness will overpower me.
Oh to have a flatter chest🙏 13yo me would be asking what the fuck am I thinking. I had my Ds and I hated them. I can’t explain why. Now im left with a chest i won’t ever like
I met someone but I don’t know if it will go anywhere so I am going to try and prepare for that whilst trying not to self destruct more. hes so lovely agh i cant
Idk what’s going on. I want to recover but I know at some point I’ll relapse and be pissed of I have to lose it all again. I want to be happy but I don’t know a life without self sabotage
Been losing agonisingly slow the last 3 months. My mum thinks another 4kilos I’ll be in hospital. But thats because my physical health is so bad. It’s only gotten worse because I am always so tense and stressed. My muscles hurt so much
I sob all the time because I actually don’t want to live at all the moment I lose my mum. I am terrified. I sob about my grandma. When she will go. Shes the best Nan I could ever have wished for. Im not cut out for grief. Or life.
I never thought I’d get to the state of mental instability and depression to the point I can’t or dont shower , wash my face brush my hair or teeth. I can’t bring myself to do anything. I think it’s this house. I get stuck I can’t explain the feeling I get
Do any irls have me on here besides the 3 that I am happy with? ?????? I might make a priv just coz I rlly need to properly vent without fear of exposing myself to family and people I don’t want to know certain things
I always wanted a pure kind of love. Sum1 that gets me and I get them. No judgement. Work shit together. To be accepted and to give the right person my whole heart. But I don’t think that will ever happen. I can’t believe I fully thought it’d be him
I may have to lose slowly because I feel like my body won’t actually be able to handle under 1000cals with the other things im doing as well
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