Non Sequitor
@spoonbillpython
Someone dedicating their twitter account to spreading ideas, confusion, and nonsense. Not necessarily in that order.
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Maturity brings you to the realization that all those flavored coffees that sounded interesting in you youth all taste like crap.
If Miley Cyrus is a pansexual, does that mean she takes a wok on the wild side?
I just realized that Andy Kaufman is alive and he just ran for president under the name of Donald Trump.
If there is no room in your heart for a fat, little donkey, then your heart is too small my friend.
A parent should never fear to say Shut up kid and go away.
When 2 or 3 are gathered in the main, there it is, a recording device in the midst of them.
Cowardice and bravery have no meaning when every choice you can make leaves you completely screwed.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and his wife punches you because now he's gone all the time fishing.
Me: No candy. Kid: You have candy. Me: It's not candy. It's a blood glucose delivery system.
Time to ban assault trucks! And possibly salt trucks that can be used as assault trucks.
I'm very suspicious that business journalists get $100 every time they write Chipotle.
I suggested my daughter find a dead squirrel and bring it back to life for her science fair. She acted like she didn't hear me.
He made faux venison stew because his hart just wasn't in it.
So I said Hell Yeah but I really wanted to say "Why yes my good fellow, I'm having a delightful time at this gentlemen's club".
Talking about low T can make an awkward high tea.
I'm suggesting Fiona Apple should be the iTunes spokesperson. Get it? Apple? iTunes? Never mind.
Tradition once again demands I condemn tofurkey in the strongest terms possible.
13 year old delinquents with a can of spray paint can now hold dominion over our universities.
Keep your filthy hands off my bacon Mr. World Health Organization smarty pants.
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