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Sumner Mahaffey

@sumner41

Sumner Mahaffey reposted

the DMV employees when you don’t have all your paperwork:


My daughter just called gnocchi Dinner boba


Sumner Mahaffey reposted

Jesus take the Wordle


Listen to our new song “PADUNG NA KO” available na sa Pilipinas! ✈️


sitting in my kitchen at 11PM doing cebuano tongue twisters on a zoom call for a tv show in the Philippines to promote our new song. Life is wild dude fr


this is the type of hard-hitting journalism I like to see

sumner41's tweet image. this is the type of hard-hitting journalism I like to see

So we’re just gonna act like this didn’t happen?

sumner41's tweet image. So we’re just gonna act like this didn’t happen?
sumner41's tweet image. So we’re just gonna act like this didn’t happen?
sumner41's tweet image. So we’re just gonna act like this didn’t happen?
sumner41's tweet image. So we’re just gonna act like this didn’t happen?

Last night at 2am, my 3 year-old woke up crying and yelling for us. I sprinted into her room like "what! what! what happened!" and she wiped her tears and between sobs said, "I.. NEEED...a quesadilla." 💀


My wife literally keeping me alive one year into WFH

sumner41's tweet image. My wife literally keeping me alive one year into WFH

Sumner Mahaffey reposted

Nothing like getting revenge on your employer by depriving yourself of sleep after a long work day. That’ll show them.


y’all ever just drink hot sauce straight out the bottle just to feel something


Sumner Mahaffey reposted

Full video: Inaugural poet Amanda Gorman


thinking about that time I was a kid on vacation in the Ozarks and we went go-kart racing and I thought they were bumper cars and ran every car off the track. saw all the workers jumping up and down and waving their arms.. thought they were cheering. got kicked out.


what is your sign-off on work calls? mine's like "ok. thanks. alright. see ya. bye." and they get increasingly shorter and quicker with each word


"I remember when they first invented chocolate."

sumner41's tweet image. "I remember when they first invented chocolate."

i like to play this game where i pop a melatonin and then see how much i can get done before it starts to kick in


My daughter just walked into the room dressed in a princess dress and said “look daddy I’m a pension.”


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