Daily Observations
@thedailyobserve
Constantly noticing the little things in life and then pretending that other people care about them.
I am beginning to think the handicap stall in the bathrooms are for people who cannot pee directly into the toilet.
Was on the toilet so long I spent the last ten minutes walking like a young Forrest Gump. #pinsandneedles
I hate it when an automatic toilet flushes before you can admire what you've made.
I can't wait till they invent the non automatic paper towel dispenser.
Hey guy having a bag of Fritos and a Pepsi for breakfast, tell me again how the healthcare system sucks. #Merica #healthcare
#BestMovieQuotes We were playing touch football and... well he fell off the roof #OutsideProvidence
Almost pulled over to help a lady on the side of the road but then realized unless she needs help refilling her wiper fluid, I'd be no help.
I'm gonna go home & crap on the coffee table & blame it on the cats in hopes my wife will get rid of them.
If they made a reality show of my life, the first 15 episodes would be called "desk job" part 1-15. It would be cancelled after part 1.
#LimpBizkit broke up. I guess the rest of the band forgot to tell Fred Durst this 10 years ago.
A better name for that salsa I just ate would be "Anal Fire".
Until I see pictures of Mars using Instagram filters, I'm really not that interested. #curiosity
You ever feel like you're sitting in a pile of your own make while the world passes you by?
Girl, you must be tired! Why? Cause you ran a marathon in my dreams last night. You didn't win though.
Just had to wipe between my shoulder blades after that dump.
Saw a 10 year old kid wearing khaki shorts with a tucked in polo shirt and a pair of sunglasses. I hated him immediately.
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