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Putting on just a shirt when you’re naked makes you feel even more naked, even though you’re nakedness is 50% less #thoughts
The penis is an organic variation of the thermometer that indicates whether the person you see is hot or not. #thoughts
When you touch someone's blood, you're actually touching a fluid that has flown through their genitals #thoughts
You pronounce every "e" in the word mercedes different #thoughts
A women can make you millionaire, Only if you're a billionaire. #thoughts
People without waterproof phones are at a serious disadvantage in coming up with these. #thoughts
When your watch dies, it records it’s time of death. #thoughts
If you live to be 113 years old you’re a teenager again. #thoughts
If we all promised and agreed to never document it in anything, our society could build something random and useless as the next Stonehenge prank for future generations. #thoughts
We use more glue in the first five years of our life than we do for all the rest of it #thoughts
Rappers will talk about doing and selling drugs, killing you, how many guns they own, their gang, and how the cops “unfairly” have interest in them all in the same song. #thoughts
As a child, it always seemed that the consistency of a signature would be a much bigger deal than it is #thoughts
One day soon there will probably be a "yo mama so old" joke that ends in something like "she grew up without the Internet" and it will be devastating #thoughts
Finishing a test first makes you seem either smart or dumb #thoughts
It would probably take a long time for a giraffe to vomit #thoughts
The universe is so big that there are stars out there bigger than our entire solar system. #thoughts
Maybe Apple skipped the iPhone 9 because 7 8 it #thoughts
Elevators are loading screens for another floor #thoughts
The real unpopular opinions at r/unpopularopinion are the ones that get downvoted the most #thoughts
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