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OH! The burning truth! SO TRUE! RT @awryone The hotel asked if I needed turn down service but I said surely my wife would turn me down.
Fair and funny! FAIRLY TRUE! RT @AristotlesGirl NEW RULE: If you stare at my boobs when you talk to me. Then I *squint* at your crotch.
Sad but funny! SADLY TRUE! RT @thesulk I love that telling a girl she has holocaust ribs is now a compliment.
Face the hilarious, cutting truth! RT @kellyoxford I'm so old: I remember when fame was synonymous with talent.
Let the truth ring out! SO TRUE! RT @DanaJGould John Forsythe's first words in Heaven: "Hello, Angels!"
Ladies know it's TRUE! RT @WhitneyCummings I doubt guys would be as interested in guns If they weren't shaped like penises.
Funny but true! RT @rejectedjokes It's stupid to install ejector seats in submarines.
It doesn't get any truer! RT @rainnwilson New Tagline for Clash of the Titans: "THIS WEEKEND, REMEMBER TO RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
It's so true! RT @roryalbanese Baseball fever! Make sure you get the vaccine...Supplies are limited and it is supposed to be a pandemic.
Unbelievably TRUE! So true! RT @thesulk I may get girls, but I'll never "get" girls.
True! RT @badbanana I feel like that guy in 300, except instead of fighting against all odds, I'm really tired and determined to go to bed.
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