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Brilliant!
Remember when TV adverts used to be sharp and witty, with jokes? Rather than just a ponderously humourless love-live-laugh montage of ‘life moments’ accompanied by jaunty whistling and the eventual slogan ‘For all life throws at you, there’s Cuntface Bank’.
When Matt Hancock has to stick his head into a tank of poisonous ants, Ant and Dec should tell him he can’t have a mask like everyone else as they’ve run out of protective equipment. So he’ll have to make do with a bin liner.
American Gothic: Cunt Edition
who knew the jubilee entertainment would last five days
For once, Boris Johnson, I agree with you. What you foretold 11 years ago has come to pass, with you at the helm of a regime that has “fatally exhausted the patience of the people” & is now acting “solely in the interests of self-preservation” (to quote your own words). Resign.
I pity #CarrieAntoinette this morning, trying to stuff a raging, hung-over sack of custard into his crumpled suit. Such is the price of notoriety, Sweetie.
Black Friday can absolutely f*ck of into the bin and post itself back to the US with "not known at this address" scrawled on it. That said, tomorrow we'll be running an entirely unrelated event called #PLACFriday. Might have some offers on. Who the f*** knows. Give it a retweet.
I’m sure I’m not the first person to say every cloud but, every cloud. #everycloud
It's not that they failed to fix the roof while the sun was shining. It's that they shook their fist at the roof and called it a cunt.
Times football correspondent: “How to beat Italy”. The arrogance of it, let’s hope Gareth is talking to him now
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