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She: "Could you please call me a taxi?" Me: "You're a taxi." #joke
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it.
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months.
If you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a bit. They are usually around 90 degrees.
Nobody starves in America. People in America die from over eating.
Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.
A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, "Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!"
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Yo momma's so dumb, the psychic hotline only charges her half price to read her mind!
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said that at the end of this ruler is a dumb. I got a detention after asking which end!
Him: "I kiss my Wife everyday before I leave for Office, what about you?"Me : "Me too, after you leave!!"
I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven't gotten a gig yet.
![_Nuriiaa_Vk's profile picture. Que se detenga el tiempo cuando estemos juntos. [MDZ]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1654250141505732610/8Ec8MNEF.jpg)
United States Trends
- 1. Kansas N/A
- 2. #tellmelies N/A
- 3. Isaiah Stewart N/A
- 4. #WWERaw N/A
- 5. Reaves N/A
- 6. Duren N/A
- 7. Arizona N/A
- 8. Bridges N/A
- 9. Pistons N/A
- 10. Allen Fieldhouse N/A
- 11. Laravia N/A
- 12. Hornets N/A
- 13. Peterson N/A
- 14. Bill Self N/A
- 15. Rock Chalk N/A
- 16. Caruso N/A
- 17. $Giraffes N/A
- 18. #TheRookie N/A
- 19. #kubball N/A
- 20. Ayton N/A
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