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"A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds" - Francis Bacon
Dear God, Thank you for last nights date. You know the one she shouted your name alot. #fantasticfinishes #HookerJokes
#onedirection it looked like Harry styles was wearing a Cincinnati Bow Tie on #SNL
#obama I'd love to see the president have a fight with the Buddhist leader. Just for the Headline:- Obama Lama Ding Dong
#MittRomney France famous for cuisine, America famous for Movies, Sweden famous for Toblerone & Nazi gold
#Obama Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
#Inthefuture, I’ll tell my grandchildren that I’m older than the internet thus blowing their minds forever.
Who do you think you are calling me that #imbeautiful #Murielswedding
#TruthIs UK $11.50 a gallon!! Fill the tank or see a hooker. Either way I'm getting fucked.
#follow WTF my followers keep sucking my dick you idiots!! Be original!! don't believe that shit #fail
Dr says i'm diabetic, so instead of changing my diet, i'm learning to drive with my left foot, #fuckhim
The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. -Chinese Proverb #slantyeyes
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