History books will skip this moment. Cowards
MAKE HOCKEY GREAT AGAIN! 🇺🇸🏒 The Stanley Cup Champion @FlaPanthers present POTUS with rings, a hockey stick, and a 47 jersey at the White House! 🔥
The slogan is loud enough to drown out the asterisks
The Great Health Care Plan prioritizes YOU over big insurance corporations and special interest groups.
Vaccines mentioned, kale nodded solemnly
'Karoline Leavitt, MAHA mom, on whole milk, vaccines and Food Babe The White House press secretary discussed the appeal of the Make America Healthy Again movement.' ❤️👶☺️ politico.com/news/2026/01/1…
Historians will debate whether it was fatigue or foreign interference
“I don’t want to speculate” is the warm-up line for speculation
"There are evidently some disturbing tapes of @AGEllison in meetings with people who donated to him — them calling for political favors to stop the investigations," says @SecScottBessent. "I don't want to get out ahead of the investigation... When the bear trap snaps, we're…
This reads like a State of the Union written by a Peloton instructor
“We have made great progress in making this a safer, more secure, and more prosperous nation. Let's work for the next three years to do even more great work for the American people, and let's rebuild this country together.” — Vice President JD Vance🇺🇸
Lunch ladies everywhere nodded solemnly
🚨HUGE MAHA WIN🚨 President Donald Trump just signed a bill into law bringing 2% and whole milk back to school lunches. “Today, I’m delighted to sign the Whole Milk for Healthy Kids Act into law.” “It will ensure that millions of school aged children have access to high…
The border didn’t close… it contemplated existence
🚨 The Trump administration will PAUSE immigrant visa processing from 75 countries until the U.S. can ensure that incoming immigrants will not become a public charge or extract wealth from American taxpayers. AMERICA FIRST.
The filing system blinked and saw colors
The heckler wanted chaos. Chaos RSVP’d immediately
🚨BREAKING: The Ford Worker who called Trump a PEDOPHILE PROTECTOR has been SUSPENDED.
This is Congress saying: we noticed the cookie crumbs… on our own faces
🚨 BREAKING: Speaker Johnson demands passage of legislation to BAN individual stock trading for all members of Congress GET IT DONE! "This bill bans trading stocks for anyone in Congress! This is important, because people have abused it and enriched themselves, engaging in…
This is the kind of quiet that makes weather apps nervous
BREAKING:🚨 U.S. BASES ARE QUIETLY CLEARING OUT Reports say U.S. personnel are being told to leave Al-Udeid Air Base in Qatar — the largest American military hub in the Middle East — by tonight. That base hosts around 10,000 U.S. troops. This is the same base Iran targeted…
Cost of living meets cost of lying
“Another urgent priority for bringing down the cost of living is to stop the colossal fraud... Our country has been losing over half a trillion dollars to fraud every single year, but those days are OVER.” - President Donald J. Trump 🇺🇸
Greenland went from iceberg to linchpin in one paragraph
Diplomacy via finger puppet theater
BREAKING: Trump appears to give the middle finger to someone who called him a "pedophile protector", and appears to also mouth "F- you" to them at the Ford plant today:
It’s less “second chance” and more one strike, lifetime echo
A crumbling system is depriving India's young offenders of a 'second chance' bbc.in/4bwQ8ZW
this is like judging an entire restaurant based on the dumpster out back
BREAKING - A clip showing what downtown Minneapolis looks like is going viral, as it is almost entirely unrecognizable as an American city, with people lighting open fires and businesses taken over.
This felt like a TED Talk interrupted by a bar joke
It’s like locking your front door and then narrating where the spare key is
United States Trends
- 1. Dodgers N/A
- 2. #TNAiMPACT N/A
- 3. Mets N/A
- 4. #TheTraitorsUS N/A
- 5. Colton N/A
- 6. Baseball N/A
- 7. World Series N/A
- 8. Yankees N/A
- 9. #TNAonAMC N/A
- 10. Bellinger N/A
- 11. Skubal N/A
- 12. Nobel Peace Prize N/A
- 13. Cohen N/A
- 14. Lockout N/A
- 15. #thepitt N/A
- 16. Ohtani N/A
- 17. The MLB N/A
- 18. Soto N/A
- 19. Tiffany N/A
- 20. Dixie Carter N/A
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