workbits
@workbits
just one letter away from how you really feel about work. @workbits tweets are snippets heard about the office & tweeted for your pleasure. send me yours.
Today my new boss told me to shave my beard because he thinks that it looks unprofessional. His new nickname is officially Cap'n Douchebag.
Being mad at you would be like being mad at a dog for taking a shit in the house. He goes because no one has let him out.
Why do you always get to answer a question with another question? Who are you? Socrates? ... Why do you ask?
I read an article about the psychology of eye movement response. Now I'm paranoid about what to do with my eyes when ppl ask me questions.
No, this isn't change for the sake of change. This change is specifically designed to fuck with you.
Explain to me why changing the word we use to something new automatically "fixes" it whatever it is? #itsexactlythesamethingasbefore
If you're in the office at 7, but leave at 4 while people are still there, be fairly confident that they'll label you "the office slacker."
"These are not the droids you are looking for" won't keep your office mates from knowing that you're sleeping with the admin.
We live in a world largely of our own making. Why don't you make like a leaf and blow out of my office?
When your boss tells you that he wants complete honesty, you still shouldn't give him your opinion of his management style.
You're all bun and no burger. Hey, the bun is over 50% of the sandwich. Besides, I #like buns.
My manager told me earlier this week to "Work Smarter, Not Harder," so I'm staying home on Friday to WFH "Worked From Home."
Look, I realize that IT guys are probably smarter than me. That doesn't mean I want to know which button to click to make your report run.
Why is it that every time we need to hire someone, you know the perfect guy? If we needed an armpit sniffer, would you have a guy then?
If it isn't broke, break it and fix it anyways. How about I do the same to your arm?
I can't say if it be good or ill, but today is indeed over. Have a good one!
"Your point, good sir, is well taken." Excuse me, I was just practicing for the next staff meeting.
If you come into the office early and spend the first hour reading the paper, it doesn't count as work... unless no one sees you reading it.
Absolute power corrupts, Absolut vodka makes it seem as if it's okay.
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