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Carls Russ

@BeatrixFormat

Carls Russ reposted

fuck are they gonna bake him


Carls Russ reposted

It's almost that time of year when my wife sits next to me on the sofa and glances at me like I'm a piece of shit. Because of what Alan Rickman did to Emma Thompson in a fictional film, released over 20 years ago.

mattcoyney's tweet image. It's almost that time of year when my wife sits next to me on the sofa and glances at me like I'm a piece of shit. Because of what Alan Rickman did to Emma Thompson in a fictional film, released over 20 years ago.

Carls Russ reposted

when someone calls a bird drab i literally get so pissed off like first of all don’t fucking talk to her like that


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“NOT dishwasher safe” You’ll be ok just do your best in there


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J.R.R. Tolkien's full name was Jonathan Ronathan Rolkien Tolkien


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i did not spend years turning the faucet off while i brushed my teeth so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop


Carls Russ reposted

I live rent free in my own head but I'm gutting the place


Carls Russ reposted

If you went all the way to the desert without naming your horse, that’s on you.


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Photos are cool cause they are like now but for later


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I’ve been training my cat to play ambient music. Last night he hit me with this hauntingly beautiful chord change after 10 minutes of A7sus4


Carls Russ reposted

jimmy kimmel is an anagram of `milk me jimmy`


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[turning off my hearing aids] My girlfriend: You don't wear hearing aids Me: WHAT?


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up early to warn the worms


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Why they got the robot dressed like Adam Sandler

This robot being tested in China runs frighteningly well 😬



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ME: what’s for dinner KIDNAPPER: omg we let you go four hours ago


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Shazam for deja vus


Carls Russ reposted
equine__dentist's tweet image.

Carls Russ reposted

Me: *puts something in the microwave* Me 3 minutes later: wtf is that beeping sound?


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