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fuck are they gonna bake him
France’s far-right leader hit by egg, days after flour attack ctvnews.ca/world/article/…
It's almost that time of year when my wife sits next to me on the sofa and glances at me like I'm a piece of shit. Because of what Alan Rickman did to Emma Thompson in a fictional film, released over 20 years ago.
when someone calls a bird drab i literally get so pissed off like first of all don’t fucking talk to her like that
“NOT dishwasher safe” You’ll be ok just do your best in there
J.R.R. Tolkien's full name was Jonathan Ronathan Rolkien Tolkien
i did not spend years turning the faucet off while i brushed my teeth so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop
I live rent free in my own head but I'm gutting the place
If you went all the way to the desert without naming your horse, that’s on you.
Photos are cool cause they are like now but for later
I’ve been training my cat to play ambient music. Last night he hit me with this hauntingly beautiful chord change after 10 minutes of A7sus4
[turning off my hearing aids] My girlfriend: You don't wear hearing aids Me: WHAT?
Why they got the robot dressed like Adam Sandler
ME: what’s for dinner KIDNAPPER: omg we let you go four hours ago
Me: *puts something in the microwave* Me 3 minutes later: wtf is that beeping sound?
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