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People whose favourite band is the Courteeners need to grow up
Southerners can get fucked, been tutted at about 8 times today. Also, why is everything 5 miles away from each other. Grow up London.
There are two Americans sat behind me referring to Barcelona as Bark-alona. #DeathToTheYanks
People of Sardinia definitely believe that pancetta is a vegetable, no vegetarian meal is without it. 🤌🏻🐖
Please God let no more Italians mention the queen to me, I’ve only been here two hours.
Greeks will visibly wince when they see a cat, but will step over a rat sized cockroach and say “watch out for roachie!”
Sometimes when I come home from running an errand, I just sit in my car for a good 30 minutes to prolong the inevitable bombardment of bullying by my cats from now until they are fed.
Guy sat behind me at a restaurant has asked EVERY waiter if they take American Express. Dude we get it, you’re American.
Currently sticking out like a sore thumb in Athens, the locals are still wearing fur coats and I am living it up in my floral dress and sandal ensemble.
Why is it so hard to convince your mates to come to B&Q with you.
Bin update: neighbours with nice shiny new wheelie bin assure me that their new shiny wheelie bin is not my new shiny wheelie bin. The search continues.
The bin man has moved my wheelie bin to an undisclosed location. My wheelie bin has no distinguishing features as its brand new and neither me or James have had time to brand it. I have just spent 20 minutes walking around asking neighbours if they have my bin, updates to follow.
Watching “Hitlers secret sexlife” on Netflix, and it’s basically hours of historians talking about how Hitler had a very bad farting problem. This is the Saturday night tv I’ve been waiting for.
Driving 16 miles with two very vocal cats in your car is not it. Finally let them out and now they won’t talk to me at all, typical.
Me and Jamesykins are at stress level 10, if anyone needs us we will be drunk on our balcony every day until we leave Manchester #ItsNotACopingMechanismIfWeArentCoping
Don’t wanna brag, but I’m almost definitely going to indulge in a good 45 minute cry session tomorrow 😎
if men don’t want their careers damaged by being domestic abusers have they considered not being domestic abusers x
I cannot express how much I have enjoyed not being on Instagram or Facebook today, highly recommend, and I can’t say any worse off for not seeing someone I knew ten years ago forcing their boyfriend to wearing matching pyjamas. 🤷🏻♀️
Tonight in: drunk James chronicles! Goes out for a few pints, comes home, pours half a deep fryers worth of oil over the kitchen, smears said oil into washing up in an attempt to clean, vomits profusely and then let’s me see my Christmas present. Someone take him.
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