Chris
@Bostonianboy
Flying is easy, all you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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Ok @Fidelity we urgently need your help. My father in law with stage four cancer is going to lose his senior housing if you don’t reply to a fax today. All we need is a confirmation of pension benefits. Please please help.
Every time there’s a scene in a movie or show where they show a character eating alone in a bathrobe on their couch in front of the tv to indicate abject loneliness or depression I’m like, “Um, that is my ideal Friday night.” #goals #bestlife
With #RUPAULSDRAGRACE US, UK, Canada, Thailand, Spain, Australia, and Holland it’s clear to me the cinematic RUniverse is leading to an epic crossover event everyone will Marvel at as she crowns the next Supermodel of the World with a very ornate Gauntlet. #RUvengers assemble!
@sherwimwilliams shows you how to take an amazing PR opportunity and by mixing some shortsightedness and no imagination turn it into very, very bad PR. 😂 buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyac…
There's a lot to unpack here. #Superstore is back in business Thursday, October 29 on @NBC.
No finale has ever made me laugh and cry so much. I hope #TheGoodPlace is the true nature of the universe. At the very least I hope for more stories as new, smart, and forking joyful. Thank you, @DarcyCarden @KristenBell @MannyJacinto @TedDanson @dubjackharper @jameelajamil
Running my dishwasher for the first time since I deep cleaned and unclogged the mineral deposited jets. The joy this is bringing me is such clear evidence that I am an old person that I'm gonna go play some God of War. #aging #gay #satisfying #gaymer
So far my new Ring Doorbell from @Amazon has detected every single car that’s driven by but not the UPS delivery person who literally walked up to it and stuffed a package in the mail slot 1 inch to its left. #YouHadOneJob
TIL Squee isn’t really a term of geek excitement, it’s a condition. Ex.: @michellegomez walked in and I was momentarily incapacitated as all my senses reduced to “squee”. Squee: the white noise left when brain function shuts down due to excess of amazing. #gaygeek #DoctorWho
Overheard at theater: Next season they have Swan Lake. It’s all men. In tutus! It’s hilarious! #Nope. If ANY deviation from gender norms is “hilarious” to you, stay out of queer spaces. It’s a miracle my glare didn’t set her hair on fire. #gay #queer #eyeroll #ballet #theater
Dany’s Bucks cup would say “Dennis of Hose Target, the Burst of Fur Maime, The unTurnt, Cream of the Angles the Roy Jar and the Thirst Men, Caprese of the Grape Grassy, Lazy Pageant of the Seven Condoms, Raker of Chafes and Mother of DragCons”. #GOT #StarbucksCup
The only time I can manage a halfway decent Carol Channing impression is when I’m trying for Liza Minnelli. #gayproblems #gay #gayfail
Getting prepped for the Oscars. My “Call Me By Your Name Peach Pulled Chicken” is in the slow cooker. #gay #CallMeByYourName #AcademyAwards2018 #oscarsfood
Everyone goes through life knowing exactly where all the motion sensor lights are so you can move through the world pretending you're Endora, right? If not y'all are missing out. Trust me on this one. #gay #bewitched #fairymagic
For a very long time I thought the lyrics were “my maintenance man is vicious.” Like she had to get home because her building manager was a super gossipy queen. #MisHeardLyrics #gay #happyholidays #BabyItsColdOutside
But, I am her now. Oops.
Rewatching @sasha_velour in the finale, bff said "of course she won, she's not lipsyncing she's doing a 5 act play and killing it" #truth
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