CASHEART87's profile picture. Trying to make the world a better place one dick joke at a time.

Jack Devlin

@CASHEART87

Trying to make the world a better place one dick joke at a time.

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I use whiskey to cleanse the palette of my mind.


Your titties look like they got divorced but live on the same street.


Samsung is just one H away from being Sams Hung!!!!!!


If ignorance is bliss I'm glad your always happy.


Your teeth are whiter than my balls and my balls have never seen the sun.


They say you spend half your life sleeping well I say 1/3 is spent looking at advertisements.


I would rather be swinging for the fences than sitting on the bench watching. #takechances


Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about so be kind.


I'm one smile away from taking over the world.


I'm so hungover I can't hear. Just realized the word ear is in hear.


Life is running to the finish line as fast as you can and then looking back asking yourself why was I running.


Why is no one talking about the herpes tree that is Derek Jeter, he infected Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Biel. #dirtydick


If a hipster falls in the woods can you still burn his vinyl collection to keep the trees warm.


I just ate a handful of almonds and got heart burn what the fuck aging,


Don't argue with untied shoes you will lose.


Humility is a dish best served warm.


I think Woody Allen's favorite show is All in the Family.


Overpopulation is not real! go fuck yourself. I should not have to ask how bad is it in there before going in the grocery store.


My butt used to be like a door knocker letting me know when I had to go now its like Jack Nicholson kicking in doors.


Your dog shit in your purse but if I clip my toe nails in the living room I'm the savage, come on!


I'm sure some spiders party, who am I to say they are a recluse.


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