Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator
@ChanceDeSnapper
From Chicago. Living in Florida.
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Real talk, this water tastes like Malort.
I wish I was back in Chicago. I'd have exclusive run of the park, and not surrounded by a bunch of Floridians sneezing on me who think Coronavirus is just the flu. Anyway, support this campaign back home and help some medical professionals kick COVID ass: gofundme.com/f/medical-prot…
INT. FLORIDA GATOR PENTHOUSE, NIGHT Chance drops into his hot tub and cracks open a Hamm’s. He smiles. CUT TO: EXT. HUMBOLDT LAGOON, NIGHT Alligator Bob stuffs another stick of dynamite into a chicken leg and tosses it into the water. He pushes back tears. FADE OUT. The End
That Pequod’s goes straight to your hips. It’s a feature, not a bug.
“He is a little bit on the chunky side as well,” a gator expert at the farm told First Coast News. As Chicagoans, we’d expect nothing less. Truth there. @ChanceDeSnapper is a true Chicagoan.
But I can only get 3-star Ubers to get me there?
Chance the Snapper will be living in a "five-star resort for crocodilians" after he leaves Chicago today. buff.ly/2JQ8N4n
Yah but is there Malort?
Chance the Snapper is heading for "a life of luxury" in Florida, Alligator Robb says buff.ly/2JQ8N4n
I’m really gonna miss this place. But you know what they say: You can take the gator out of Humboldt Park Lagoon but you can’t ever wash the stink away so it’s impossible to forget where you came from even if you tried really hard—not that you would want to.
We know he can catch, we’re about to find out if he can throw. Oh, also, not mentioned in the article is the fact that he will indeed throw me.
Alligator catcher to throw out first pitch at Wrigley Field tonight as victory lap begins buff.ly/2lMsHFr
SUPPORT LOCAL JOURNALISM!!!! api.pico.tools/pn/blockclubch…
Ummmmmm.... he didn’t do it alone. I was instrumental in this operation.
by @mina_bloom_. Frank Robb, Chicago’s newest celebrity after breezing into town and catching #ChanceTheSnapper in a day, will throw the first pitch during tonight's @Cubs game at Wrigley Field. blockclubchicago.org/2019/07/16/all… via @BlockClubCHI
This my crew now.
by @mina_bloom_. Frank Robb, Chicago’s newest celebrity after breezing into town and catching #ChanceTheSnapper in a day, will throw the first pitch during tonight's @Cubs game at Wrigley Field. blockclubchicago.org/2019/07/16/all… via @BlockClubCHI
I for one really enjoyed when that rotisserie chicken fell in the lagoon. Good times.
But seriously Chicago, what's your fondest memory of #GATORWATCH2K19? @BlockClubCHI wants to hear from y'all!!! #ChanceTheSnapper #HumboldtPark #HumboldtGator
Look, I appreciate everyone’s passion around my situation, but if you free me, I’m just going back to the lagoon and this whole circus begins again. Maybe direct your hubris on more pressing things. Like, Area 51.
See, he knows it was a rescue. You can see it in his eyes.
This man's expression says everything. He is a specialist from FLORIDA AKA GATOR COUNTRY. He's like, "I was flown out to hunt a gator, but it turned into a rescue mission. I have to save this little critter from these idiots." #chancethesnapper #humboldtparkgator #HumboltGator
It was a beautiful moment, Alex.
"You guys weren't there. That night at the lagoon I looked into Chance The Snapper's eyes and we had a moment of understanding. Man and beast. Beast and man. We both loved eating rotisserie chicken in the park. It was a good summer. The BEST summer." -Me, 20 years from now.
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