The Machine
@MachineChicago
Your source for the realest fake news. Always with love, never with ketchup. Find us on Facebook and Insta
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Do you like the 'idea' of the news but don't like the news? Come check out the fake news that tells you it's fake news at The Chicago Machine. Where our motto is 'Satire Taken Seriously' or something like that thechicagomachine.com
Svedka Trees Sprout in Grant Park From Buried Lolla Alcohol Full article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/5c1… #Chicago #satire #comedy #Lollapalooza #music #alcohol
McCaskeys Sheepishly Request that Aaron Rodgers Sell Chicago Bears Back to Them Full Article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/vl6… #Chicago #satire #comedy #sports #football #bears #Packers
Marathon Delayed After City Officials See Mass of People Running Downtown, Raise Drawbridges #Chicago #comedy #satire #ChicagoMarathon #Politics
Marjorie Taylor Green Curses Antifa After Burning Roof Of Mouth On Italian Beef #Chicago #comedy #Satire #politics #news #italianbeef
Increasingly Feverish Earth Concerned It Might Have COVID Full article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/2rq… #Chicago #Earth #satire #comedy #news #covid #GlobalWarming
Colectivo Successfully Unionizes Despite Executives Trying To Trap All Workers In Giant Coffee Cup #Chicago #satire #comedy #coffee #unions #labor
Summer Smash Attendees Grateful That "New Normal" Still Includes Stampedes of Human Flesh #Chicago #satire #comedy #covid #music
Citadel Funds New Organ-Sharing App Full Article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/cit… #Chicago #satire #comedy #startup #VentureCapital #organsharing
"Living in Big City Like Chicago Can Reduce Depression," Says Study That Didn’t Ask Me Full Article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/liv… #Chicago #satire #comedy #hapiness
Weatherman Upset Suburban Tornado Warning Didn't Put Him on the Map Full Article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/wea… #Chicago #satire #weather #tornado
Cubs Trade Away Your Happiness, Childhood Memories, and Last Thing You Could Talk About with Your Dad Full article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/cub… #Chicago #Satire #comedy #chicagocubs #Cubs #CubTogether #MLB #sadness
Corporations Terrified Simone Biles Inspiring People To Actually Use Their Sick Time/PTO #Chicago #Satire #USAGymnastics #selfcare #mentalhealth #TokyoOlympics2020
Adler Planetarium Reopens to Remind Lonely Chicagoans They Live in Vast, Uncaring Universe Full Article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/adl… #Chicago #Satire #comedy #space #covid #existentialcrisis
Immersive Van Gogh Exhibit to be Replaced with Immersive Ms. Taylor’s 2nd Grade Art Class Exhibit Full article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/imm… #Chicago #satire #art #vangogh #teachers #artsandcrafts
Covid Spike in Ozarks Ruins Travel Plans for Tens of Chicagoans #Chicago #Satire #ozarks #COVID19 #Missouri #Travel #TravelRestrictions
More Bad News After Grandal Injury: White Sox Reveal Tim Anderson Does Not Exist Full Article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/mor… #Chicago #satire #MLB #BaseBall #WhiteSox
Logan Square Woman Finds Text Therapy Optimal for Ghosting Therapist Full article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/log… #Chicago #satire #therapy #betterhelp #ghosting
Frustrated JB Shouts, “Get the Fudging Vaccine Already!” Full Article: thechicagomachine.com/new-blog-1/fru… #Chicago #satire #Illinois #Politics #vaccine #COVID19 #CovidVaccine #fudge #GetVaccinated
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