Sherlock Holmes. | ROLEPLAY.
@CodeOfDeduction
❝Consulting Detective by day. @GeniusinCooking’s Food Critique by night. Deducing the truth.❞ — Tea and Gingernuts. Breakfast for Champions. | PARODY.
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Trying to remember Lestrade’s name is horribly hard. /Anyway/. Morning.
“The word ‘help’ is written all over your face,” Nonchalant string of words as he brought the brim of his cup closer to his lips. No sips; just a habit. “Oh, you’ve mistaken me for someone who would drown in your words.”
“Is this a game to you?” No mark of trick or artifice oozing from her. But anyone would be foolish to let their guards down when it comes to her. “You need my help. So, what is it?”
“Only in a bad way,” Dramatic pause, with his eyes narrowed. Confusion written all over his face. 𝑊𝘩𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝘩𝑒 𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒? “You disappeared for months and now you are here. Who did you manage to scam this time, or are you just being ludicrously annoying?”
“Miss you like I miss an intestinal parasite.”
Why is she there? Why is she here? Why? The Woman. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏... Give him a break.
“Are you trying to make me starve?”
“Refrigerators at home are for storing food to slow the rate of decomposition, not for human body parts that you’re experimenting on. Do it somewhere else. I’m not buying more food for you to ruin.”
“Refrigerators slow down the rate of decomposition. Which explains why I had them in our refrigerator.”
“Refrigerators are for /food/, Sherlock. You could’ve put them in a jar.”
“The bunch of ears were there before your chicken. It means... /You/ had the chicken near my bunch of ears. Not the other way round.”
“I had a stomach bug last week because you left a bunch of left our ears in the freeze near my chicken.”
“You’re still well. And breathing. The severed body parts didn’t kill you after all.”
“It’s not being dramatic if it’s true, Sherlock.”
“Drama Queen.”
“I work from home. Thought that was quite obvious.”
“In the morgue. Where it belongs. Not near the meats.”
“It’s all fun and games, until the idea of ‘Open for a Surprise’ is equivalent to opening the door of your fridge only to find a severed head waiting for you. Where else would I put it in? The bathroom?” #LivingWithHolmes101
“Funny how you let a man speak and he immediately lowers the IQ of the entire street.”
❝Solve the riddle in the explanation.❞ — If you need assistance, contact me. Interesting cases only please.
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