if goldilocks was a reptile
@ColdyLockss
not my chair, not my problem
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men like to say that women are dramatic but I have never seen a woman punch a hole in drywall because she didnt get any head
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my future MIL is blasting Pink Pony Club while shes washing dishes, she wont let me help because she needs to vibe in the kitchen alone Girl I get it
US politics is so wild. Here's the Mayor of Knox County Tombstoning the US Secretary of Education
save me fungi chairs.... fungi chairs save me...
for the first time in years i have my bday off work, so i started to plan my own bday party, shortly after i started to overthink it…. this is lame then remembered im a virgo and this is so on brand
theres a raccoon or a creature on my roof and Im scared for them and I want to text you about it but that would be so weird
i legit didn’t realize you could cry so hard you throw up until I actually did
omg she killed Kissinger
Oldest daughters are some of the toughest men you'll ever meet
me when i get my yummy little treat
When I die can u guys put cute stickers on my coffin
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