Dadmissions's profile picture. I once lost my wedding ring for three weeks in a sleeve of cookies.

dadmissions

@Dadmissions

I once lost my wedding ring for three weeks in a sleeve of cookies.

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dad: "come on, you guys are LATE!!!!" 11yo: "you should have started YELLING at us earlier!"


yehhhhh welcome to opening weekend of the @lacountyfair

Dadmissions's tweet image. yehhhhh welcome to opening weekend of the @lacountyfair
Dadmissions's tweet image. yehhhhh welcome to opening weekend of the @lacountyfair
Dadmissions's tweet image. yehhhhh welcome to opening weekend of the @lacountyfair

wife just accused me of buying crappy low quality wrapping paper and I told her I’m like the “Money Ball” of families and I like to keep the soda money on the field…


13: about half of dad’s jokes are actually funny..


wore suspenders this week- teen daughter told her friends that’s my “statement” piece


13 waking up: “THESE are the eyes of a tired child. I want you to SOAK them in and realize YOU did this to me”


your honor, I see no evidence of candy wrappers ANYWHERE other than the one lonely Milk Duds box so clearly it WASN’T me who ate all that other Halloween candy. I rest my case.

Dadmissions's tweet image. your honor, 
I see no evidence of candy wrappers ANYWHERE other than the one lonely Milk Duds box so clearly it WASN’T me who ate all that other Halloween candy. I rest my case.

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