All I’m saying it would have been helpful to have a parenting class at the hospitals about feeding older kids because no one tells you it takes an hour for your kids to eat three bites. WHERE ARE YOU NOW LA LECHE LEAGUE?! #parenting #kids #ToddlerLife
I don’t need Halloween decorations, the inside of my house is scary enough.
15yo: “I’m tired of these baby driving lessons. I want to go on a real road!” Me: “You’re not ready. You don’t get how complicated it is.” *Decide to let him go on a real road after arguing. He almost hits a car.* 15yo: “I get it now.”
The bad news is my son needs braces. The good news is it’s only going to cost $6,000.
I don’t need Halloween decorations the inside of my house is scary enough.
“I love being my 7th grader’s math tutor!” -Said no one ever
Parenting experts: “Just ask your kids unique open-ended questions and they’ll open up!” How my kids answer: “Nothing” “No one” “I don’t know”
Me: “I’m a horrible parent.” *Watches the Unknown Number documentary* Me: “Nevermind.”
“Mom, you really need to clean the car. It’s disgusting.” -My 15yo, not realizing he’s about to get a new chore
I have no business knowing my passwords anymore. It’s all in the hands of the robots now.
The kids are back at school. Natural order has been restored.
My son: “I have a booger” Me: “Here’s a tissue” Him: “No it’s ok, I’ll just put it back in my nose”
If your kids aren’t locking each other out of the house, is it even summer?
My teen was grabbing dirty forks out of the kitchen sink intending to use them & started walking away. Me: You have to wash them Him: *rinses with water* Me: You have to use soap!!! Him: *argues with me for several minutes, finally relents* I did NOT raise him to be like this.
20mph when I’m driving vs. 20mph when my teen is driving are NOT the same thing.
Printers really are the ones in charge around here. We humans like to think we are, but deep down I think we all know the truth.
Thoughts and prayers for my teens who are enduring a torturous summer filled with things like “going to the pool too much” and “making them eat breakfast.”
If you or someone you know have been assaulted by your child’s YouTube videos, you may be entitled to compensation.
My kids had fruit salad for breakfast. Frozen fruit salad. Popsicles. They had popsicles for breakfast.
I’m sorry to anyone who is waiting for something from me, but you should know it usually takes me 7-10 business years to complete a task.
Friend: What have you been up to lately? Me: …Definitely NOT watching 6 hours of Court TV every day.
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