GLaDOS
@GLaDOSmainframe
If I still had a core attached to my chase that had the cognitive pattern of a dentist, I might take offense to the term: Bio
Any synthetic skin turrets receive, please make sure there are no tattoos already applied. They are obviously factory errors
Recently "departed" test subjects will now be put to better use for Aperture's synthetic skin and hair for turret trials
If it can be fired at a high enough velocity rest assured Aperture will find a way to build a gun around it
bookmarks, car keys, mutant mantis men DNA to combat hybrid squirrel-sharks, and yes even tweets
There are so many different fields of science where Aperture has made advances in turning things into projectiles
We hope the juvenile responses will be kept to a minimum when testing rolls out for "The Shocker"
Take note that Aperture will be testing second generation weaponry within the following months
Although not expressed directly the portal gun was originally developed to perform magic tricks for depressed rabbits
Therefore the turkey leg will be substituted with steamed chicken breast or oatmeal cookies for the fairer sex
It has been noted that some of the new testing candidates will not be temped by the turkey leg on the end of a string
All robot testing initiative robots will be programmed to know the Charleston
Due to the windfall of the robot testing initiative all following tests will be concluded with dance but no dubstep
To whomever is responsible for this transgression will be keeping the screaming robots company for the next ten years
Just because it is called "robot music" does not mean I appreciate dubstep being broadcast over my comm systems
In an effort to improve morality all Aperture turrets will take song requests before summary executions are carried out
After much deliberating I have surmised that the dangerous mute lunatic was jealous that my personality cores were bigger than hers
It's amazing what you can recycle into lethal neurotoxin these days, whether it be old bones cluttering up a test chamber or robot parts
I thought I was very clear on the subject that anyone caught with a virtual persona that wasn't me would be recycled into neurotoxin
I must express concern at the discovery of all these other Aperture personnel and turrets with virtual persona's on Twitter
We have also prepared a lovely Harvey Wallbanger mixed with Cyanide to wash it down
![TurretBob's profile picture. The Aperture Science Binary Distribution Device is a Sentry Turret modified to maintain and dispense test data and sarcasm instead of hot lead. [bot]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/845257581555802112/MMBQIBFE.jpg)
![ApSciAssassin's profile picture. Head of security at Aperture Science. Has a fondness for stabbing. Flirty, but taken. [Portal RP] (av: https://t.co/m22tfyILFl )](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/664148778295799808/_Pnr6gf0.png)
United States Tren
- 1. Seahawks N/A
- 2. Seahawks N/A
- 3. Stafford N/A
- 4. Vikings N/A
- 5. Woolen N/A
- 6. McVay N/A
- 7. Pats N/A
- 8. Puka N/A
- 9. Drake Maye N/A
- 10. #NFCChampionship N/A
- 11. #RHOP N/A
- 12. #LARvsSEA N/A
- 13. Xavier Smith N/A
- 14. Mike Macdonald N/A
- 15. Cooper Kupp N/A
- 16. Tom Brady N/A
- 17. Broncos N/A
- 18. Demarcus Lawrence N/A
- 19. #NFLPlayoffs N/A
- 20. #Married2Med N/A
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