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You’re forced to reflect on some life choices when you find yourself texting the words “Crap, my car is missing an antler!”
Today I’m thankful for the StitchFix stylist who sent me elastic-waist jeans and won my heart forever.
To this day, there is no bigger threat to my vocal cords and car’s speakers than Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone” on the radio. Apparently.
“HI! HEY MOM IT’S THE NEIGHBOR WHOSE NAME YOU DON’T KNOW, NOW YOU CAN ASK HER!” Welp, time to move.
“I’m going to read the hell out of this book today” thought no mom on the way to the beach with her kids ever ever ever.
Waiting to board a flight with two young kids and the Please Don’t Let My Seat Be Next To Them is almost palpable.
“Goodnight, Mommy, I love you. Happy Halloween!” A small being with absolutely no concept of time can be so endearing. Especially once corralled for the night.
The 3-year-old wakes up every morning singing “True Colors” to call me into his room. Is there anything sweeter than that?? (Yes. For starters: if he’d sleep past 6:20.)
“MOM I SEE ANOTHER GROWN-UP ON THE PLAYGROUND DO YOU WANT TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF!?” Good god, her geniality MUST BE STOPPED.
When our doorbell rings, one kid yells "pizza" and the other yells "Amazon." They have a 99.99% accuracy rate.
"Here's a playlist you might like: Calm Down Kids." Holy crap. Amazon's Alexa really IS always listening.
"This loss hurts. But please never stop believing that fighting for what’s right is worth it." —Hillary
Preschool teacher said our daughter "loves to sing loud and proud...like Buddy the Elf!" And thus begins my life as a stage mom.
Diverted to a random airport in a hurricane with two small children aggravation unlocked!
Flying without kids means I get to just relax and enjoy my early morning final boarding call and sprint to the gate.
I shop so infrequently that even setting foot in a (what's the word again) mall gets my credit card flagged for fraud. Apparently.
Sign #228 I'm ancient: Just Googled "home remedies to prevent a hangover" before a big night out, in case anything's changed.
The bar is already packed! Except for the area we're sitting in. BEHOLD, THE MAGIC OF BABIES!
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