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Being a mom is willingly and eagerly wafting a hot Dutch oven fart from your baby towards your face to determine whether or not she did, indeed, shart.
When I take a sleeping pill, I always sleep 8 hours. So my plan is to eat 1/4th of one so I will wake up at 1:40 p.m. MEDICINE ALARM CLOCK
An actual witch would run this country better than you.
This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!
I was married to Don Rickles for a few sweet hours last night. He wanted a puppy & I was going to change my name to Susie Rickles. ❤ #dreams
When you find yourself angrily screaming at someone to be more positive...🤔 #oops
Bumped into these two fun bumpkins. Ice cream and coffee immediately followed.
Going to Tig Notaro's anniversary @LargoLosAngeles show. I wonder if @louisck will be a surprise guest again! #iwillpeemypants #again
Setting up the Park La Fun pop-up shop at Japan LA! Popping open tomorrow until August 31st. Come… instagram.com/p/ciOSr3yzNO/
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