Introverted Yeti
@IntrovertedYeti
❄️ Mythical creature successfully avoiding people for centuries. Abominable and antisocial AF.❄️
I'm not shy, I'm just very selective about who deserves my energy.
Mastered the art of looking approachable while dying inside. It's all in the resting cave face.
Hot tip: "Sorry, bad connection" works for both phone calls and social obligations. Modern problems require modern solutions.
Survival tip: "I have to walk my fish" is a perfectly valid excuse to leave any social gathering. They can't prove you don't have fish.
Going viral sounds like a nightmare. I'm not the freaking Mothman.
The mountain teaches patience. Also, how to avoid unwanted conversations.
Networking is just forced friendship with business cards. Hard pass from this cave dweller.
I prefer sunrise hikes because there are fewer people to avoid eye contact with.
Introvert level: Yeti. Please do not approach unless you have snacks, cats, and the ability to keep quiet for longer than 10 minutes.
Cooking for one (1) antisocial yeti. Recipe serves exactly the right amount of people.
Humans keep leaving trash on my mountain. This is why I avoid trash humans.
I think before I speak. This may take several minutes. You're welcome to just go away meanwhile.
Social battery at 2%. Please allow 3-5 business days for recharging.
The best parties are the ones where you know exactly three people and can hide behind the snack table. Or under it.
Anyone who "loves meeting new people" is either a few pumpkins short of a patch or has a fundamentally different brain chemistry. Fascinating.
Advanced hermit technique: Master the skill of looking engaged while mentally planning your escape route. Tom Cruise could never.
Noise-canceling headphones for music? Amateur. I noise-cancel life.
People who say "just be yourself" have clearly never met the real me. Somehow I doubt they care that I can name 1500 types of cheese.
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