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Turns out the scariest day of the year isn't Halloween. The real horror is the day after, when you first hear that Mariah Carey Xmas song that will be haunting us for the next two months.
Burned 4,000 calories today feverishly trying to pretend I'm familiar with the bands playing Coachella.
There is a new menu at Taco Bell if anyone is interested in having volcanic diarrhea.
I never experienced the euphoria of taking Molly but once I was the first person to like a Taylor Swift Instagram post and that's a high that will never go away.
Strawberry Moon? Nice try making me look up from my phone, i'll just wait until it's on Netflix.
Age is just a number, for example I'm 45 but at the bar Saturday night I'm 22 and at home Sunday morning I'm 97.
List of the best fireworks to buy this year. - None - Cut that shit out already.
McDonald's hack: If you order a McRib 7 days in a row they have to take you down to the cellar and show you where they keep Grimace chained up.
I had Taco Bell for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and now it's like the 4th of July inside my underpants.
If you post a 4th of July vid with the caption "wait for it" I better be waiting for someone to blow a finger off.
Join @larrydn22 tonight in supporting @NowThatsClass in Lakewood! Visit the GameDay+ section of the #CavsApp, championed by @Westfield1848, to bid on tonight’s @deanwade3232 jersey auction and we’ll help match the proceeds! #SmallBusinessChampions
Game 68 - Now Thats Class @NowThatsClass Located in Lakewood, Now Thats Class is a concert venue that’s been open since 2007. They’ve got 2 main goals, have a venue that’s different from the rest, and second HAVE FUN! Help support them tonight by participating in the auction!
According to my research the #1 side effect of the COVID vaccine is not being able to shut up about getting the COVID vaccine.
Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is trick or treating during a pandemic.
Adulting is just learning how to get drunk without getting drunk drunk.
Pretty bold to fly the "good year" blimp at the NBA finals during arguably the worst year on record.
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